I write limericks for fun and rant about Philly sports
Pennsylvania, USA
Joined August 2014
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2 in 1 today
I’ve never had too much to say
‘Til rhyming filled my everyday
And from the start
You’ve had my heart
That’s where these lines shall always stay
Thank you all for going on this journey with me ❤️ It’s been fun✌🏼
Put one hand on my lollipop
Then bop it to the tippy-top
A twist and a squeeze
Takes me to my knees
We’re gonna need a bigger mop
Thank God this blue tsunami raged
So we can finally turn the page
Are Democrats goated?
You went out and voted
Since we the people long for change!
I don’t believe I’ve met your mom
We’ve only spoke through intercom
Her voice is unique,
Her style is chic,
In my book, she’s the bomb dot com
The fabric on my leather pants
Is quite forgiving when I dance
The zipper is loose,
It hugs my caboose,
And makes my pecker looking enhanced
The crispness of November air
Could waft right through your balding hair
While I did not wed
The shine from your head
I’ll always love your autumn flair
The costume that you wear today
Will help release your inner gay
This festive attire
Referred to as fire
Is meant for something more than play
A spooky, scary skeleton
Is much perplexed by gelatin
The flubber winds
Straight down her spine
If not assault, that sounds like sin
The trapdoor underneath your feet
Is not designed to be discreet
I’ll take your coat
Before you float
And haunt you when you trick-or-treat
When good old Franky takes a swing
He’ll knock you with that hefty thing
Circumference aside
His girth is quite wide
I bet you’re begging for a ring
When Dracula enjoys his feast
He morphs into a savage beast
He’ll suck you dry
From taint to thigh
Before pronouncing you deceased
You won’t believe your very eyes
When you first see that mammoth’s size
In layman’s terms
He’s thick and firm
But soft and tender ‘tween the thighs
Your crispy, creamy morning breath
Could resurrect me from sweet death
I can’t resist
That stinky kiss
It tastes like my last hit of meth
Replacing you won’t break a sweat
In fact, I wish we’d never met
Your face is a mess
And darling, that dress…
A nose job would put you in debt
Beware the hunky, rabid man
Who claims he wants your daughter’s hand
Go ravage their date
Before it’s too late
And pay the hitman seven grand
A tiny shot of motor oil
Will surely make your gullet boil
That greasy sludge
Looks just like fudge
And leaves your tighty whities soiled
Let’s glide across the universe
To find the most expensive purse
There’s no such thing
As too much bling
Unless it makes the baggie burst
The longer you deny my kiss
The less you’ll feel our wedding bliss
I thought it was now
To act on this vow
But now you’d rather take a piss
Luke’s Limericks retweeted
🚨SIXERS JERSEY GIVEAWAY🚨
THE SEASON BEGINS TONIGHT & I COULD NOT BE MORE HYPED! Let’s give a LeBron jersey away!
To win:
1) Like & Retweet
2) Follow @JoshReynolds24
Winner selected tomorrow! Good luck! Go Sixers!
***IMPORTANT***
Winner will NOT be DM’d from any other account & will NOT be asked to fill out a form. These are scam accounts pretending to be me. I will DM you from my account congratulating you & asking for details.
No sooner will the sun explode
When darkness leads me down that road
I don’t know when
Nor how it ends
I’ll be the Yoshi to your Toad