Max Raskin

I'll believe the singularity is near when Microsoft Word opens a file in less than 10 seconds...

I just invented a new word — "aptronitials" — when your initials suit you. E.g., U.S. Grant (American president), @JDVance (lawyer), Cliff Peter Acton (my accountant), @JacobKaplan17 (comedian), Michael DeBakey (cardiothoracic surgeon).

As a compromise position, what about building datum centers so they won't be so big?

Norm Macdonald had a farm

Overheard: "If you're going to come late to tomorrow's meeting, please come late a little earlier..."

Why isn't quick pickling just called quickling?

I love that Frindle is Amazon's bestselling book in etymology cc: @JacobKaplan17

2026: Do you use Claude? 2036: Does Claude use you?

"Most organizations should be conferences, most conferences breakfasts, most breakfasts zooms, and most zooms shouldn't occur." - a friend who deserves credit for saying this.

Austin, Texas used to be described as a blueberry in a bowl of tomato soup. After Tuesday, Lubbock, Texas now looks like a cherry tomato in a blueberry soup, which, ironically, sounds like something they'd serve in Austin.

Parks and regs!

The work of the Interior Department can be summarized as: parks and regs

"My faith in institutions was forever shattered when you told me Peter Luger's sauce was just ketchup with horseradish in it."

You can't shout ANYTHING in a crowded theater

Easiest Halloween costume this year would have been to wear a nametag that said "Dan Sullivan"

Thesis, antithesis, synthesis, and then a whole lot of exegesis

Slip-Ons: because life is hard enough.

I had a Yes cover band in high school. We were called Not Yes. Almost as good as my Grateful Dead cover band. Not Dead Yet.

Venmo is my only social media account. Follow the money. @PayPal should have people pay to promote their posts.