Writer • she/her • #LoveOzYA • opinions my own, if that
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ALT A pink rectangle with the words 'Steph Bowe Mentorship for Young Writers' in blue text in the middle. A black and white photo of Steph smiling is on the top-left, with two pencil illustrations and circle art elements scattered around for visual interest.
ALT An illustration of a stack of rapid antigen tests and a council building. Text reads 'Free RATs from your council'
ALT Tree Empire 1. Founded as a eco-friendly club at their elementary school but quickly morphed into a cult centered on the worship of one specific willow elm named Spirit. 2. Spirit currently uses they/them pronouns, but this is subject to frequent change and there’s a ceremony for acknowledging it. 3. Spirit might be primordial? 4. The core ritual seems to be gathering coal (I assume rocks but?), assaying the coal’s value, and presenting it to Spirit 5. They have another practice called sneaking, I don’t know what it is. They greet each other by saying “sneak sneak” 6. Their aesthetics and symbolism are a truly gorgeous combination of Irish Celtic and high tech
ALT 7. Membership is quite open and they have a strong missionary wing. When members transfer schools or go on to middle school they are expected to propagate (their words!) the Tree Empire there. 8. They have branches at at least three local schools and a Canadian chapter. 9. Full membership is mostly 8-11 year olds. Younger adherents are “supporters” and adults might loosely be granted honorary membership through a significant bribe. 10. Members and supporters are granted a nickname, voting/decision making power, and the right to participate in recreational Tree Empire activities. Supporters can sneak and attend pronoun ceremonies but they do not participate in the coal process or wear Tree Empire insignia.
ALT 11. All adherents are expected to respect members’ pronouns and access needs and to generally practice good environmental stewardship. 12. They are however very happy to accept bribes and they highly value “knowing a guy” 13. Everyone can pray to Spirit but a handful of individuals are esteemed as like prophets/they get final say about things like Spirit’s pronouns? Others are given more respect/authority in assaying and authenticating the coal. 14. That said, their organization is largely non-hierarchical and they run some damn good democratic meetings. 15. Their business meetings are strictly *business* meetings, NOT ceremonial.
ALT 16. They have a Google drive containing The Manual, which documents their lore, rituals, and policy. 17. I am not allowed to read or even ask questions about The Manual. My coworker is attempting to access (bribe) The Manual by offering to bind it. 18. They have had at least one schism. There are two Manuals. I’ve never met any of the “other tree empire”.