( H )ᅠ ᅠ 白い町 𝙎𝙪𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙫𝙤𝙧ᅠ 〤 ᅠ ᅠ

It's not enough to just take them away from me, I was forced to witness every moment of their agonizing death. the pain, the suffering, the helplessness; I was made to experience it all.

death would be a release from my self inflicted torment, save for the fact that I know my family would never recover from it. so here I lay, stuck, forever suspended between life and death.

I'm tired of wondering if my friends will survive another day. It's exhausting to care so much and not know if they'll make it through.

what doesn't kill you leaves you stronger, is what they say. but what they don't tell you is that it also leaves you mentally weaker. It breaks you, destroys you, and chips away at the very foundation of who you are.

I crave companionship and desperately want to be by everyone's side, even if I don't think I deserve it. I long for that sense of belonging and acceptance, but I often feel unworthy of it.