I'm actually two 10 year old kids in a trench coat sneaking into a PG-13 movie.
Joined September 2021
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Cardboard Chris 🇺🇦 🦆🧊 retweeted
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to:
Johns Hopkins Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center Fund
alzresearch.org/giving/
Alzheimer’s Foundation of America Caregiver Resources
alzfdn.org/donate/
Photo Credit: Tommy Garcia
Totally happy to see you come back to the Jazz. I'm happy as hell that you found a new passion outside of basketball. ❤️
youtu.be/u3nNuDGedfQ?is=wNTS…
@masfresco
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Every time our prison meal arrives Tristan takes it and asks through the door “Is this organic?”
The prison guards usually reply with: What?
Tristan: Is this food organic?
Guard: What? Just take it.
Tristan: Is this locally sourced?
Guard: *slams food tray shut*
Tristan then eats the food and complains to me the entire time that it's not organic and not locally sourced.
He's been doing this every single meal for weeks.
Cardboard Chris 🇺🇦 🦆🧊 retweeted
Whoops
BREAKING: Utah state Rep. Trevor Lee has been charged with mortgage and communications fraud ksl.com/article/51629695/rep… #utpol @KSLcom @KSL5TV
I may or may not have made it to the toilet on time. Trying to put on your medical boot and your colon are on two different timelines
Best thing to do against Patriot Front is to pepper spray them. No crime if there is no victim, and they sure as hell don't want people to know who they are.
DEFINITELY not sound legal advice, just a funny thought that probably wouldn't work the way I think it would.
Cardboard Chris 🇺🇦 🦆🧊 retweeted
Hollywood has spent nearly $600 million trying to bring Matt Damon home.
Have they considered maybe he just doesn’t want to come back?
Howdy, Twitter!
A week or so after being canned from work I had to go to the hospital for blood clots in my lungs and in my right leg. My surgeon said that it was the worst clot he's seen where they just didnt amputate the leg. I've been in the hospital for a month now.
Yay
Cardboard Chris 🇺🇦 🦆🧊 retweeted
Joe Rogan showing up to the White House after spending a month claiming to be politically homeless
