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Sofia Javed (@sofjaved) profile picture

Sofia Javed

@sofjaved

Former cubicle bureaucrat. Future Trader Joe's associate. Sometimes, I make people laugh. Comedian. Co-host of @danceofjoypod.

sofiajaved.com
Joined June 2011
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  • Following1K
  • Followers427
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Photo by Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)Photo by Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)Photo by Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)Photo by Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)Photo by Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)Photo by Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)Photo by Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)Photo by Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)Photo by Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)Photo by Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)
Last night in Chicago, the Smashing Pumpkins brought out Greg Brady to sing “It’s a Sunshine Day” while Flavor Flav head-banged from the audience. This may be the most Gen X thing ever assembled on one stage.
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Sofia Javed retweeted
Brian Schatz (@brianschatz) profile picture
Brian Schatz
@brianschatzMay 24
I’m not into black listing anyone from future work in their area of expertise but I do think it’s fair to want a whole new crop of foreign policy staffers in the next democratic administration. It’s not like the same 120 people are the only people who know anything.
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A deceased rat and a handwritten note containing "derogatory statements" were found at a Chicago alderman's office on the city's North Side Sunday night, police said. abc7chicago.com/post/chicago…
Dead rat, 'derogatory' handwritten note found at alderman's office, Chicago police say

Dead rat, 'derogatory' handwritten note found at alderman's office, Chicago police say

A deceased rat and a handwritten note containing "derogatory statements" were found at a Chicago alderman's office on the city's North Side Sunday night, police said.

abc7chicago.com
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i'm a woman in my 40s. my algorithm: - babies are starving in gaza - mothers are getting deported - EAT PROTEIN - the downfall of democracy - the rise of fascism - EAT MORE PROTEIN - women aren't people - men will kill you - HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT GREEK YOGURT AND COTTAGE CHEESE?!
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Sofia Javed retweeted
RISK! (@RISKshow) profile picture
RISK!@RISKshow21 May 2025
Invite your friends to the RISK! live show in DC, at Miracle Theater, on Sat. 6/7 at 8:00 pm. Stories by @sofjaved Heather Minter, Tori & 3 storytellers chosen from the audience. Hosted by @TheKevinAllison! Get tickets: RISK-show.com/live. #DC #storytelling #risk

Live Events - RISK! podcast

At RISK! live shows, you’ll hear four incredible true stories from storytellers selected and coached by the RISK! team.

risk-show.com
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Sofia Javed retweeted
RISK! (@RISKshow) profile picture
RISK!@RISKshow26 May 2025
DC! Haven't been to a RISK! live show yet? Join us on Sat. 6/7 at 8:00 pm in DC. Stories by @sofjaved Heather Minter, Tori & 3 storytellers chosen from the audience. Hosted by @TheKevinAllison! Tickets: RISK-show.com/live. #DC #storytelling #risk
Image from RISK! (@RISKshow)
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Sofia Javed retweeted
RISK! (@RISKshow) profile picture
RISK!@RISKshow14 May 2025
Join us for the next RISK! live show in DC, at Miracle Theater, on Sat. 6/7 at 8:00 pm. Stories by @sofjaved Heather Minter, Tori & 3 storytellers chosen from the audience. Hosted by @TheKevinAllison! Tickets: RISK-show.com/live. #ATL #storytelling #risk

Live Events - RISK! podcast

At RISK! live shows, you’ll hear four incredible true stories from storytellers selected and coached by the RISK! team.

risk-show.com
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Join me on Saturday, 6/7/25  at 8PM as I share a true story on @RISKshow live at @MiracleTheatreDC in Washington DC! There will be curated stories and a story slam! Tickets: RISK-show.com/live.
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THEM: Sofia, you're SO FUNNY ME: Thanks! When I was 16, my father died, and then an adult handed me our family's phonebook and told me to call everyone and tell them the news and invite them to the funeral.
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ME: I discussed it with some friends and then made a decision... MY THERAPIST: are those friends white? ME: ...yes MY THERAPIST: for the record, I don't agree with them
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Tracking state reactions to the ICC Arrest Warrants against Netanyahu, Gallant, & Deif 🧵
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#AbbottElementary #Abbottabad #SealTeamSix #PakistanZindabad
Image from Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)
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Sorry I'm late. I got held up at work...
Image from Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)
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If the 2028 event isn't called "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo"... #olympics
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When I was 24, I served as a translator on the administrative review boards in Guantanamo Bay, where I tried to ensure fair/accurate depictions of detainees' stories. The stories coming out of Sde Teiman remind of what I learned at GTMO. Short 🧵
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Sofia Javed retweeted
Sofia Javed (@sofjaved) profile picture
Sofia Javed@sofjaved17 Jul 2024
but @Grubhub do better. pay your workers well so they don't have to do this:
Image from Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)
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Replying to @Grubhub
@Grubhub i love you
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but @Grubhub do better. pay your workers well so they don't have to do this:
Image from Sofia Javed (@sofjaved)
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A mariachi band performed Higher by Creed at Globe Life Field tonight and they absolutely killed it
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i'm single because my father died when i was 16, and my mother is 4'10", so there was no one around to force me into marriage. i got lucky with a dead dad. i've never been married. thank goodness for cancer. multiple myeloma gave me freedom! #desi #single #freedom #DDC
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Sofia Javed retweeted
Front Office Sports (@FOS) profile picture
Front Office Sports
@FOS6 Jun 2024
The U.S. just stunned Pakistan at the Men's T20 Cricket World Cup in one of the biggest upsets in the sport's history. Saurabh Netravalkar is one of Team USA's top players, but his full-time job: Principle Engineer at Oracle.
Image from Front Office Sports (@FOS)
Image from Front Office Sports (@FOS)
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