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"We don't give a shit about your stupid question, Chuck," -- Hillary and Bernie. #DemDebate
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Zika Virus Joins Lack Of Paid Leave, Unaffordable Child Care As Reasons Woman Afraid Of Getting Pregnant onion.com/1nKkNHD
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The Republicans haven't got a single candidate who could survive a Willie Wonka factory tour.
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Talk about work-life balance. Billionaire Carlos Slim is pushing for a three day work week.
money.cnn.com/2014/10/08/inv…
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Life isn't a rollercoaster. It's the kid's ride where you turn the steering wheel, but the car doesn't respond, & you go in circles, slowly.
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Scientific Community Baffled By Man Whose Waist 32 With Some Pants, 33 With Others onion.com/U1vDLn
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Nation Finishes Romantically Pairing Off Except For The Losers onion.com/1f9hRyX
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Woman Who Had Almost Formed Healthy Sense Of Self Rejoins Social Media onion.com/1aPRGVb
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When you figure out how to whack off, you assume your life's going to be full of other little things that make you feel great. But it's not.
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Today is the #humpday but for Hulk Hogan it is the suck my ten inch cock you no good motherfucker piece of shit day
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Detective Reddit addresses the Web. "We've narrowed the bombing suspects down to either That One Guy on the Roof, EA Games, or All Women."
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If you are enjoying Florida beaches during spring break, please be aware of beach-nesting birds. Tips: ow.ly/jgFGc
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Horribly Depressed Zookeeper Has Always Had Special Connection With Animals onion.com/VHmdyo
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"I’ve stood by long enough watching myself act like a selfish, immature ass at every possible opportunity." onion.com/10zWLm6
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Egyptian Woman Wishes Screaming Protester Husband Would Go Bonkers For Her Once In A While onion.com/Vhuudt #OnionYIR
