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Stewing in my own juices

Joined December 2008
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LIFE HACK: No advice here, just telling you what you are.
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When you do birkat kohanim during shaharit on simchat torah but they're already drunk
Lauren Lapkus, John Ross Bowie, @GeorgeTakei, @KevinSussman and Brian Posehn
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Make it not so 馃槥
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If you're a fan of body horror you could go see a Blumhouse movie or you could just become middle aged
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Eric Hoffer wrote this article about Israel almost 60 years go. It reads like it was written yesterday. "The Jews are a peculiar people: things permitted to other nations are forbidden to the Jews. Other nations drive out thousands, even millions of people and there is no refugee problem. Russia did it, Poland and Czechoslovakia did it, Turkey threw out a million Greeks, and Algeria a million Frenchmen. Indonesia threw out heaven knows how many Chinese-and no one says a word about refugees. But in the case of Israel the displaced Arabs have become eternal refugees. Everyone insists that Israel must take back every single Arab. Arnold Toynbee calls the displacement of the Arabs an atrocity greater than any committed by the Nazis. Other nations when victorious on the battlefield dictate peace terms. But when Israel is victorious it must sue for peace. Everyone expects the Jews to be the only real Christians in this world. Other nations when they are defeated survive and recover but should Israel be defeated it would be destroyed. Had Nasser triumphed last June he would have wiped Israel off the map, and no one would have lifted a finger to save the Jews. No commitment to the Jews by any government, including our own, is worth the paper it is written on. There is a cry of outrage all over the world when people die in Vietnam or when two Negroes are executed in Rhodesia. But when Hitler slaughtered Jews no one remonstrated with him. The Swedes, who are ready to break of diplomatic relations with America because of what we do in Vietnam, did not let out a peep when Hitler was slaughtering Jews. They sent Hitler choice iron ore, and ball bearings, and serviced his troop trains to Norway. The Jews are alone in the world. If Israel survives, it will be solely because of Jewish efforts. And Jewish resources. Yet at this moment Israel is our only reliable and unconditional ally. We can rely more on Israel than Israel can rely on us. And one has only to imagine what would have happened last summer had the Arabs and their Russian backers won the war to realize how vital the survival of Israel is to America and the West in general. I have a premonition that will not leave me; as it goes with Israel so will it go with all of us. Should Israel perish the holocaust will be upon us."
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Fair warning: if I meet you in public, I'm going to find you on LinkedIn, and I'm going to connect.
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Warning parents! Stern College is a party school! (Engagement parties)
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One day the government will force us to accept all autocorrects and we will be plunged into chaos
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I expect a show about Green Lantern to have a lot of Green Lantern ring action. AITA?
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Some facts about Paula Abdul: 1. Syrian Jew 2. Bat Mitzvah (belated) in Israel in 2013 3. Debut album in 1988 (El Sayid was born in 1984).
2018. While running for Governor, Abdul El-Sayed says that his parents chose the name Abdul because Paula Abdul was popular at the time.
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Not now, Instacart notification!
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My friends saw The Odyssey on a bigger screen than I did and now they're IMAXxing me.
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It's rude when an Amazon van parks in front of your house but doesn't deliver anything to you. They should always give you a little treat in that scenario.
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"LA: Good-to-Moderate" is my motto
#AirQuality Forecast (Friday, July 3rd): aqmd.gov/forecast 馃彇 Coastal: Good 馃彊 LA: Good -to- Moderate 馃寘 OC: Good -to- Moderate 馃寗 Inland Empire: Good -to- Moderate 馃尨 Coachella Valley: Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups View our Real Time #AQI Map: aqmd.gov/aqimap
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Is it "two chicken kievs" or "two chickens kiev"? (Also what is a chicken kiev?)
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I would watch a Mad Men spin-off series about how the guy who lost his foot in the lawn mower accident rebuilt his career.
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Mad Men got a whole new generation of kids interested in becoming philanderers.
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It must really piss off Netflix execs that a really big movie is still called a Blockbuster.
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Reminder: if you drink the water in Mexico, you'll have terrible diarrhea. The good news is, if you don't drink the water, you'll have slightly less terrible diarrhea.
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REPORT: There are no Jews left in Queens. They are all in Cancun.
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This shabbos the gabbai gave so many hand signals that the baal koreh stole third.
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