@weedhitter

i tire of professionalism. i'm here to chew gum and blow a hole in my skull the size of the grand canyon

linktr.ee/weedhitter
Joined March 2010
  • Tweets62.7K
  • Following2.8K
  • Followers30.7K
4.8KMedia
got someone from the crowd to work the xdjs while i was mixing off my laptop into the mixer completely unplanned & at one point i looked over and homie was doing realtime bpm calculations WHILE SPINNING so we could get 4 tracks playin at once without it sounding like shit
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horrible urge formed in my mind to start greeting people by saying "season's greepings" immediately after the allegations came out. think i suppress it once a week at least
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[calling up the guy who i kept hitting with my car once a week for a while] sorry for acting crazy for a couple years there i had a really bad UTI
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keep going back to this and laughing because "oops! accidentally killed my girlfriend with ketamine, guess i gotta sell my Limited Edition Meow Wolf Viewmaster" is the funniest possible end for a guy who was primarily famous for beatboxing during South Park ads
Seth Simons@sasimonsOct 23
Reggie Watts is having an estate sale tomorrow. the catalogue includes his bondage kit estatesales.net/CA/Los-Angel…
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some part of me knows on some level i would be fine submitting to totalitarian rule if it meant getting to sleep at night knowing YA Authors were being forced to do inhumane amounts of prison labor
🎃 herbert von carrion 👻@ragandboneshopOct 24
sometimes i accidentally wander over to threads
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threads is a very cool app where everything you "thought we stopped doing at the turn of the decade" is not only still happening, but the primary modus of communication. type of place where a guy named Dave Stevens-Kowalski is selling a cookbook called "Fuck Yeah, Asian Food"
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vio@ErogetismOct 24
FactPost
@factpostnewsOct 23
Trump posts cryptic health message: "A healthy person has a thousand dreams. A sick person has only one (to get better)! President DONALD J. TRUMP"
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Replying to @weedhitter
@weedhitter
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girls like it when you invite them over to your house to show them your $5,000 hifi setup
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they love it when you say "what if you came by and we just, idk, spent some time together" and then talk about phase alignment for an hour
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max weeber@nezumi_ningenOct 24
I need the world to know about the growing Arkansas Cornbread Festival mascot universe
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the NPC in deus ex calling to tell you he found proof the illuminati invented AIDS in the 70s while you crawl around an air vent like spiderman:
Sofia Coppium@indianloonieJun 20
Going to the barber asking for the James Somerton
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sorry guys we can't do the performative "i hate my computer" quirky personality trait anymore. we gotta get serious about this shit. no more playing around. you need to treat your laptop like an unwanted child. the computer must learn to feel pain so it knows what it does to us.
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dude wanna come over and drop acid and sit still and look at my computer for 8 hours
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Rocky@viperwaveOct 24
Japanese people watching the French call them pedophiles on here.
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hahaha yeah i have lost some weight, thanks for noticing. no big really, just tryin to eat better, exercise more, even if it's just walking around the city more often. figured it was about time i took better care of myself! i also did a lot of cocaine last month too
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daphne@daphflacOct 24
no rule against it I suppose. hell, I would too
nostalgia & history
@internetpreaiOct 23
young mongolian buddhist monk playing counter strike in the 2000s
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🔒🔁
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tayler (😬)@billdifferenOct 23
me getting ready to put on that new wolves in the throne room
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win ben stein's;gate@weedhitter20 Apr 2025
CALVIN KLEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR BROTHER, ETHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I BEG OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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my scottish ass got called the hard r by a white teen for yellin Fuck Yeah at the most beautiful slabbed out caddy i've ever seen. just froze in confusion. didn't know what to do. never planned for that moment. eventually regained speech and could only think to reply "thank you!"
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kid was standin on top of the Medgar Evers Public Pool. felt like something out of a fever dream. kinda thing that just was never meant to happen.
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