Brooklyn born. Atlanta raised. I write occasionally. I talk shit a lot. USA Today bestselling author of ONCE UPON A TIME IN DOLLYWOOD. Available everywhere now.

Atlanta, GA
Joined March 2009
Ashley Jordan retweeted
matt bernstein@mattxiv14h
united states… just remember we can do this too…. VOTE BY NEXT TUESDAY 11/3
matt bernstein@mattxiv15h
watching brazil defeat fascism while trump gives a speech about nicki minaj’s ass
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
this entire Jalen situation is much bigger than just a QB dealing with an injury, it’s about the utter neglect and mistreatment of black people when it comes to medical care.
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
Watch this to the end, you won’t regret it. This is what happens when you’re at happy hour and are reminded you agreed to do an interview about your race.
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
genuinely fuck whoever came up w the dumbass idea to replace THE DICTIONARY BUILT INTO GOOGLE with the ai overview's definitions i hope everything in their life fucking sucks
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
What do you mean the useless Hawks team will not move their game for the Dream to host finals in State Farm???
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
DUBS IN THE MF CHATTT.
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
Me :I have so much to do today Also me five minutes later:
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
“Fucking the text man for texts”, “Young hoes cook everything on high”, “Omg you people can’t do anything” and “We’ve extensively talked about this, you’re just 21” are the four greatest tweets ever made. The philosophical impact cannot be understated. Socratic level thinking
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Walking outside to a nice crisp 60° in the air
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
Writing is fun. You endure hours of excruciating pain and self-doubt. But in the end, you’ve created something. And then you get to hate that thing.
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Petition to make sticky notes stickier
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Honestly as long as you don’t need gas or groceries things really aren't that bad.
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
“aid in the region” is very international wording. netanyahu about to get a direct deposit
Robert Kraft announces he and Ed Sheeran are donating $2 million each to “aid in the region to fight this humanitarian crisis” following Macklemore’s donation to Palestinians: “Earlier today, before Macklemore challenged me to match his donation, Ed called me and asked me to commit $2 million to match his donation to aid in the region to fight this humanitarian crisis. Ed now plans to reach out to other venue owners and our goal is to continue to work together to build bridges.”
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
Macklemore confirms Ed Sheeran and his team removed him from tour after Kraft group rallied other venue owners and gave Ed an ultimatum. Ed told Macklemore that his “Free Palestine” message was hurtful to people he spoke with and that he “don’t take sides.”
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
the earth is billions of years old yet we get to be alive the same time as beyoncé
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
sorry i didn't text you back. i was pretending i didn't see it, and i ended up actually forgetting.
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
being so chronically online has made some of y’all so self-righteous, you expect people to be squeaky clean 24/7, never making mistakes or missteping once that’s just not realistic
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
in honor of Dolly Parton, for the love of god please read a book
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
Rest in peace to an American hero. ❤️
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Ashley Jordan retweeted
Only way you will win back the customer
JUST IN: Wendy’s new CEO admits the company “shortchanged” food quality to save money & is now trying to win back customer trust.
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