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Carbosly

@Carbosly

Mother. Lover. Wondering what happened to the cow in Twister.

 Ottawa, Canada
Joined May 2009
  • Tweets27.7K
  • Following4.7K
  • Followers24.3K
1.7KMedia
Photo by Carbosly (@Carbosly)Photo by Carbosly (@Carbosly)Photo by Carbosly (@Carbosly)Photo by Carbosly (@Carbosly)Photo by Carbosly (@Carbosly)Photo by Carbosly (@Carbosly)Photo by Carbosly (@Carbosly)Photo by Carbosly (@Carbosly)Photo by Carbosly (@Carbosly)Photo by Carbosly (@Carbosly)
Life is basically just stepping over puddles into bigger ones.
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getting v. tired of living inside an interesting part of next century's history textbooks
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if i say to you “i’ll let you know” just go enjoy your day bro
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Happy Birthday to 1/365th of my followers!
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Can't wait to find out what kind of fancy moons 2022 has in store for us.
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my uncle walked in to chistmas, filled a plate, ate in a separate room, and left. he was here 4 minutes
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‘lol’ and ‘lmao’ are actually both punctuation marks
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COVID will continue to mutate until it's asked to join Marvel's X-Men.
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I never delete my tweets that don't do well. I make them hang around on the timeline and think about what they did.
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A fortune teller told me I'd suffer awful heartbreak in 12 years. To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.
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When Bezo lands, we should have apes riding horses greet him.
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If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have moisturized more.
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Salesman pointed out the ActiveWear cycle of the washer and we both laughed and laughed.
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Need to hire a personal seat warmer.
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Them: Bill, how are you doing? Me: Last night I tried to get Alexa and Siri to talk dirty to each other.
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A lawyer using Zoom had to let a judge know that he wasn’t a cat after inadvertently activating a face filter
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Another wooden ball!!! Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?? I have like 12 already
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The person you are when you talk to your accountant is the real you.
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Thread of the day.
Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) profile pictureLil Bit 🌈@LizerReal25 Jan 2021
oh shit. i'm at a doctors appointment, and i legit forgot to take the sugar glider out of my sports bra. let's hope she stays asleep!!!
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Might shake things up and wear my red suspenders today.
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