Atreides•🌹 The Engine• Wines & Sprits Jedi• Amici di Amici •Cool Shit Coordinator, Unicorn Gawd, Intellectual Hooligan, Moi-Moi King•🎩
Joined March 2011
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Oho. Looooool
I said this with my full chest until I could no longer endure the pain. 😂
About five days ago, I went to see a urologist. After a series of questions, we got to the part of the consultation I wasn't mentally prepared for.
Doctor: "Please, take off your jeans."
Me: (Reluctantly) 😭
He insisted there was no other way, so I complied. I took off my boxers too, and he asked me to walk over to him so he could examine my balls.
At this point, my imagination had gone wild. I was already picturing this doctor putting my dick in his mouth and calculating the kind of beating I would give him if he tried anything funny. 😂😂
Anyway, after examining my balls, which were a little painful to touch, came the main event.
Doctor: "I'll have to insert my finger into your anus to examine your prostate. It'll be slightly uncomfortable, and you may feel some pain."
Me: "Haa! You mean my ass is about to get piped?!" 😭
Doctor: "It's necessary to examine your prostate."
Omo! Na that moment I quickly lie down on the bed to collect my backshot. I had no choice. 😂
He applied lubricant around the entrance of my anus and inserted his finger. The finger was moving around until he finally located my prostate.
Unfortunately for me, the moment he pressed it, I nearly saw my ancestors. The pain was something else! 😭😭
Apparently, my prostate was inflamed, and I was diagnosed with PROSTATITIS. I was placed on a two-month course of medication.
Since that experience, I've been raining curses on all the gay men in existence, morning, afternoon and night. I can't believe I experienced this mini gayism in the name of medical examination. 😂😂
But jokes apart, guys, please take your health seriously. If you're experiencing persistent pain around your lower abdomen, groin, lower back or testicles, pain during ejaculation, or a burning sensation when urinating, please see a urologist.
Not every genital or urinary problem is an STI. Sometimes, it's something entirely different.
And please, don't wait until the pain becomes unbearable before seeking medical attention.
Your health is more important than your pride. 😂
You see why I say environment doesn’t matter?
Mumu must to mum.
There is this guy in my church who came to me to ask for my number about two weeks ago because he needed me to get something done for him. I punched my number onto his phone and I asked him to call or text me so I can be able to get his number too. By the time I got home, I saw a WhatsApp message from a 234 number, and he said that was his number. I just ignored him. I didn't even reply and I'd never save that number into my contact list.
Dude has been in the UK for four years now and he is still giving his Nigerian number to people in the UK with him. Or is it because I'm a Nigerian like him that he was texting me with his 234 WhatsApp number? I know he would not do that if it was a Brit that he had exchanged a contact with. Except for my very close friends and family members, I don't entertain any 234 messages on my 447 line. Let 234 messages be directed to my 234 number, biko.
Random:
Say you and Seyi Tinubu went to primary or secondary school together. Or were neighbors as kids. Or even family friends.
And you maintained your friendship across the decades. Very, very close.
Now that things are what they are, are you supposed to cut him off cos
Stan culture is wild. “We love him and he cannot be wrong”.
Wild.
A Neal Rigger retweeted
My Abuja caretaker woke up less than 3 months to my next due date to inform me that he had increased my rent (by nearly 50%). Did the same to other tenants.
I smelled something fishy. I immediately flagged it as the guy trying to engineer our ouster so he can generate fresh tenants and earn all the extras that came with fresh rent.
I asked my lawyer to write to him informing him that the time for the notice was short, that I’m sticking with the old rent, and don’t mind the increment coming into effect in the next cycle.
He ignored my lawyer’s letter, came to my WhatsApp to ask me to leave the house the property. I said fine, send me notice officially. He didn’t do that.
When my rent was due, I called to inform him that the rent original rent was ready, and I could proceed to pay if it was fine by him. He told me no, that I should leave. I asked him again, “where is the notice.” He said there was no need for notice, that I should just leave in peace.
He later called back, saying that I should not have involved a lawyer, that we should just resolved this between us. I said fine, I no wan stress, I offered to pay around 15-20% extra. He rejected and insisted on the full increment. I was like, “why is this nigga suing for negotiations then?”
Well, long story short. There was an incident that required Landlord’s attention in the neighborhood. Other landlords informed my landlord. My landlord was unavailable (probably outside the country), and sent his sister. Sister showed up, and that’s how we discovered that 1.) This caretaker padded the original rent, and landlord didn’t know, 2.) Landlord was not aware that the security post was rented out, 3.) Landlord was not aware of the recent increment.
Now caretaker has gone quiet.
This is how caretakers comfortably sit and earn than Landlords from properties these landlords invest 100s of millions in.
Again, back to what I always say: if we don’t address this issue structurally in this country, this will continue to be the reality for many Nigerians.
I’m sure if the Landlord switches to another caretaker, they would still do the same thing. I have actually witnessed this caretaker lament once about how a painter duped him during the painting of the house.
Na so, them go thief, but na other people own them go dey see.
A Neal Rigger retweeted
“And it is He who has released [simultaneously] the two seas, one fresh and sweet and one salty and bitter, and He placed between them a barrier and prohibiting partition.”
Qur’an (25:53):
I have a similar tale with an Etisalat guy but in my case, it was me he wanted.
say na “tell me about your most sensual experience”.
😂😂😂😂
The way I just disappeared.
