FastLaugh

—That Mesopotamian Show

Pervple

Q: If Ted Cruz were a new beverage, what would it be named? A: Cancun Cola

Q: Where does George Santos get his sweaters? A: The Credibility Gap

Q: What’s the name of this band? A: A Frock of Seagulls

Nick picks cheese sticks at the cheese store. 🧀

To paraphrase, “Good job, you f - - - - ed it up.”

Schrödinger, in the checkout line at Walmart, buying a shovel to bury his cat and a big bag of cat food to simultaneously feed it. He announced his planned physics experiment to the person behind him in line but sadly for his cat, that person was not fluent in Austrian-Irish.

You Make Me Feel Like Pantsing could plausibly have been sung by this guy.

#CannibalismRomCom @StephenKing 10 Things I Ate About You Pretty, Tasty Woman Boneless in Seattle

#InflationSizedConfections One Musketeer @rockskimmer

Newborn Ruth #InflationSizedConfections

For barbers… Make it Hairbnb @rockskimmer

#CheezItExperiments @tacobell’s “Mini Cheez-It Tostada” conveyor belt that delivers your Taco Bell 🔔 order directly into your mouth at the drive-up window without all of that wasteful, costly packaging.

If Scavino eventually flips, that will be a BIG DEAL. #SurpriseWitness

#NextSCOTUSOutrage Supermarkets prohibited from selling fertilized eggs for human consumption because that would kill the chicken fetuses before they could grow large enough to be monetized by the Poultry-Industrial Complex controlled by the supermarkets. #ClarenceThomasLogic

@felixgillette 👍

I’ll look forward to reading. I’m a former HBO (The Comedy Channel) employee (1990-1993) from the era of The Comedy Channel vs. Ha! kerfuffle between Fuchs and Biondi that morphed into HBO Downtown Productions and Comedy Central. Fun times those were!

That’s nothing, folks! My dental hygienist, who delivered a passionate plea for me to brush and floss more regularly, has given me 11 toothbrushes, 11 tubes of @Crest, and enough floss to macrame a two-person hammock during the last three years, according to my appreciative gums.