live show info and more

Inside a truck
Joined September 2008
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Tessa Thompson in Annihilation:
Joe Biden becomes the first sitting US President to visit the Amazon Rainforest.
9
287
3
3,936
180,397
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
7
884
35
8,867
300,212
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
in my SNL audition i would immediately do a t mobile ad so they know im ready
2
170
1
6,181
157,978
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
*this* is how you text someone who just had a baby
You’re unable to view this Post because this account owner limits who can view their Posts. Learn more
19
1,628
49
53,347
1,787,621
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Carly on the set of iCarly:
59
2,647
99
29,694
1,147,798
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
As I've said before, genuinely love that Shaq is like Krusty the Clown
If I missed your call, I’m probably in a cabin sitting by a warm fire, enjoying a giant box of pizza. why? because it’s Shaq-a-Roni season @PapaJohns
33
671
8
15,200
585,184
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
they'll be calling the hogs in corvallis if dabo swinney and his boys can survive tonight's trap game down in the swamp
6
37
2
758
77,562
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Watterson did the perfect capper for Calvin and Hobbes. Simple and sweet, it's beautiful
61
453
45
7,097
217,880
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you ☝️. Then do a big spin attack
17
2,318
65
18,814
487,840
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Roseanne demonstrates the opposite of gun safety during an event she did for the Minnesota Trump campaign
27
1
388
27,895
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
when I invent a pocket-sized jelly roll that won’t ruin denim
1
1
8
295
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Shaq: say goodbye to huge wireless bills with T-Mobile’s $45 monthly plan Casey Anthony: and with T-Mobile’s best-in-class 5G coverage, you’ll stay connected wherever you go Shaq: that’s right, Casey Anthony
3
603
13
6,329
228,901
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
“@realDonaldTrump: I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September 11th.”
4,760
21,583
9,631
30,390
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
there have been a lot of one season cast members, but few have had a sketch this good get on
Reciting this brilliant sketch from memory in honor of Chloe Troast 🫡 Like fellow one-season SNL star Jenny Slate, history will look kindly upon her!
55
1
1,625
63,367
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Do something that scares you every day. If you do that, then each day, little by little, you will be scared. Every day will be scary, and your life will be very scary. 💫
109
9,552
585
77,264
2,130,449
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Guess I was ahead of my time (2018)
weddings should have a worst man
1
4
393
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Have you ever had an apple cider donut?
Does America even have any food worthy of this reaction
41
104
1
4,341
233,586
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Really liked Hot Tub Time Machine...crazy storyline but you'll def laugh...watching a little family guy now. Just comedy 24/7
40
3,796
137
16,738
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
My special "The Crowd Work Tour" was on Netflix in 2015.
111
258
27
3,954
198,391
Jordan “Not Going To Start Smoking” Keyes retweeted
Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. Batman Begin
1,807
58,895
4,132
315,794
30,286,411