I am God's son. But I'm also God. But different. You wouldn't understand. Sometimes I do magic tricks.
Heaven
Joined January 2012
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Going to use my God powers to help someone climb a greased light post in Philly now. #FlyEaglesFly
I heard someone thanks me for helping them win the Superbowl. Because that’s what I do... make sure certain teams win sporting events. Glory!
Totally enjoying my birthday today. I trust you’re giving me all the glory as well. Not just some of it. Need it all. Oh, and some cake would be nice. Glory!
Whenever I get down in the dumps, I like to remind myself that someone is driving this van around in public. Glory!
Today, I will provide clear & concrete proof that I am... oh wait, nope. Gonna stick with "my face on toast" proof. Glory!
Not heard at #Jointsession: easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.
Looking forward to having insurance companies from in AND out of state screw people over. So heartwarming.
I've been fact checking this #JointAddress with same scrutiny as the Bible. Umm... yep. Everything checks out. Glory!
It's almost as if a museum w/ a T-rex riding in a boat with humans isn't super popular. Weird. wkyt.com/content/news/Grant-…
Like I have this strange feeling that someone isn't giving me all the glory... Which is crazy because I'm supposed to have all of it.
Well, I was going to return today but this guy used all caps lettering. Also, van needs more bears. Glory!
A neat thing about being a Christian in USA is the ability to always feel like you're the persecuted one. Glory!