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Jesus With Issues

@JesusWithIssues

I am God's son. But I'm also God. But different. You wouldn't understand. Sometimes I do magic tricks.

 Heaven
favstar.fm/users/JesusWithIssues
Joined January 2012
  • Tweets6.9K
  • Following1.6K
  • Followers7.3K
266Media
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Oof. Someone just prayed for prayers to be completely ineffective. He prayed in my name & said amen at the end. My hands are tied here.
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Jesus With Issues retweeted
Take That Darwin (@TakeThatDarwin) profile picture
Take That Darwin@TakeThatDarwin26 Feb 2014
Teleology is adorable. "I can see my house from up here! This mountain must have been designed to look at my house from!" #no #wrong #stop
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Space Man (@GoodWithoutGods) profile picture
Space Man@GoodWithoutGods26 Jul 2013
Gods love people, you know.
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Knock Knock Gregory @GregParchment
Image from Stephen Knight 🎙️ (@GSpellchecker)
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Jesus With Issues retweeted
Adrian Briggs (@adrianbriggs) profile picture
Adrian Briggs@adrianbriggs4 Dec 2013
The Bible reads like a badly-written work of science fiction. Without the science.
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Good_Beard (@NP_McGivern) profile picture
Good_Beard@NP_McGivern3 Dec 2013
The amazing thing about when God sends people messages is how often they're in accord with the person's beliefs~It's as if they dreamt it up
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Adrian Briggs (@adrianbriggs) profile picture
Adrian Briggs@adrianbriggs30 Nov 2013
There's clearly something wrong with humanists. They go around being decent people without threats of hell or promises of heaven. Weirdos.
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"'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD"- Lev. 19:28 @CodyMatthewHill
Image from Stephen Knight 🎙️ (@GSpellchecker)
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Steve Fletcher (@fletchdr222) profile picture
Steve Fletcher@fletchdr22229 Nov 2013
PEOPLE BELIEVE SANTA RIDES A SLEIGH, BUT JESUS CAN´T RIDE ON A COMET? LOL
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Just to see how it feels, everybody run your medical concerns by your boss before you head out for Thanksgiving.
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Adrian Briggs (@adrianbriggs) profile picture
Adrian Briggs@adrianbriggs26 Nov 2013
God's plan: Create the universe for a species of ape. Drown the apes. Die for the apes. Rise from death for the apes. Hide from the apes.
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Steel Clive (@the__steel) profile picture
Steel Clive@the__steel9 Nov 2013
this is just proof of god nothing else you cannot prove this sort of magnificense with science
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mike martin (@mikecannytalk) profile picture
mike martin@mikecannytalk24 Nov 2013
“@JoyceMeyer: How has the Word of God made a difference in your life?” @notcreative388 @lillai23
Image from mike martin (@mikecannytalk)
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Adrian Briggs (@adrianbriggs) profile picture
Adrian Briggs@adrianbriggs12 Nov 2013
I just started the Bible. I'm skipping all the bullshit. I just finished the Bible.
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I forgot that Jesus didn't want government to reflect his concern for the poor. He thought it should focus stuff he never said about gays.
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Haddockmonger (@mickD5966) profile picture
Haddockmonger@mickD59668 Nov 2013
bible stories make perfect sense
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IFLScience (@IFLScience) profile picture
IFLScience
@IFLScience6 Nov 2013
"I've always been here"
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Replying to @thom1956
Beefy, cheesy glory. @JesusWithIssues @thom1956: #Jesus is beefy, cheesy GLORY! || #Atheist #BlasphemySunday http://t.co/utUZ2o07iE”
Image from Jennifer Anne Woods (@StillAmJennifer)
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Lars Pellinat (@Lars9596) profile picture
Lars Pellinat@Lars959628 Oct 2013
"We should create a law based on the God of the Bible." Sarah Palin #Religion #Atheism
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askegg (@askegg) profile picture
askegg@askegg27 Oct 2013
Are you rapture ready?
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