Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses) header
Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses) profile picture

Jewish Curses

@JewishCurses

Everything is a good curse for your enemy if you look hard enough. 'I thought he was super MoDox or conservative'. In house Devil's advocate @AssociatedFress.

Joined December 2021
  • Tweets2.3K
  • Following74
  • Followers3.3K
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Photo by Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses)Photo by Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses)Photo by Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses)Photo by Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses)Photo by Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses)Photo by Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses)Photo by Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses)Photo by Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses)Photo by Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses)Photo by Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses)
May your best tweet get 1,000,000 impressions and no likes. And only one profile visit. And no new followers.
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Jewish Curses retweeted
Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses) profile picture
Jewish Curses@JewishCursesOct 14
Replying to @gutgezugt
May you run out of ideas for your shtik account so you resort to using Twitter like most people
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How do we get Dave Roberts on a podcast with @TalkinYanks so that @Jomboy_ can give him a lineup with Josue De Paula in it?
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This is not officially a Jewish curse but also for all Jewish dodgers fans this is kinda a curse
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Judah (@Judahe) profile picture
Judah@JudaheSep 30
May you Daven in front of someone who shakes his Lulav according to the other Minhag @JewishCurses
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Jewish Curses retweeted
Gutgezugt (@gutgezugt) profile picture
Gutgezugt@gutgezugtSep 30
May your most viral post have a typo @JewishCurses
The White House (@WhiteHouse) profile pictureThe White House
@WhiteHouseSep 30
White House Accord on Super Intelligence
Image from The White House (@WhiteHouse)
Image from The White House (@WhiteHouse)
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Eli Lebowicz (@EliLebowicz) profile picture
Eli Lebowicz
@EliLebowiczSep 25
May the only music you can listen to be Macklemore’s. @JewishCurses
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Eli Lebowicz (@EliLebowicz) profile picture
Eli Lebowicz
@EliLebowiczSep 11
Replying to @IlanBlock @JewishCurses
May your congregation not omit anything.
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"May you be annoyed by many more s'machot." @JewishCurses
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Jewish Curses retweeted
Sheasah Meme'im (@Sheasah_Memeim) profile picture
Sheasah Meme'im@Sheasah_MemeimAug 19
Replying to @JewishCurses
@JewishCurses, may you still be davening shemoneh esrei when they're about to start leining the Megillah.
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Jewish Curses retweeted
Moshe Kolat (@moshe_kolat) profile picture
Moshe Kolat@moshe_kolatAug 18
Replying to @JewishCurses
@jewishcurses May your nose blowing sound like a Shofar
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Moshe Kolat (@moshe_kolat) profile picture
Moshe Kolat@moshe_kolatJul 31
May you Daven Nusach Ashkenaz, yet somehow always take the Nusach Sefard Siddur in Shul .@jewishcurses
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Jewish Curses retweeted
Gutgezugt (@gutgezugt) profile picture
Gutgezugt@gutgezugtJun 28
May your neatly crafted open-faced sandwich fall face-down before the first bite @JewishCurses
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Gutgezugt (@gutgezugt) profile picture
Gutgezugt@gutgezugtJun 28
May your Sunday's cream cheese freeze in the fridge @JewishCurses
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Gutgezugt (@gutgezugt) profile picture
Gutgezugt@gutgezugtJun 28
May the bagels come late and soggy @JewishCurses
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Jewish Curses retweeted
Adam Kenigsberg (@breslovchosid) profile picture
Adam Kenigsberg
@breslovchosidJun 25
Replying to @ldkop @JewishCurses
May you get an important phone call in the middle of saying krias shema at sof zman hagra.
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May your kids pick up all their toys and scatter them all over your floor. @JewishCurses
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Replying to @VaadHaBadchanim
Aside from the @thedDovid Taub shtik last year for korach (and BDE for Miriam in Chukas), he haven't had good parshas bilam (bilaam?) shtik since four years ago when @JewishCurses tweeted blessings for a week (and even that was good shtik but not satire) teapawt.net/i/status/1547567513671…
Jewish Curses (@JewishCurses) profile pictureJewish Curses@JewishCurses14 Jul 2022
A weird thing has been happening this week. I've been trying to post curses but somehow they keep coming out as blessings. Any idea what's going on?
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May you have a house full of children who make you laugh all day long, and a postpartum weakened pelvic floor. @JewishCurses
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Do tell
FLANJNY (@flanjny215) profile pictureFLANJNY@flanjny215Jun 11
Replying to @hittyminny
My grandparents had some OUTSTANDING curses. 🤣🤣🤣
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FLANJNY (@flanjny215) profile picture
FLANJNY@flanjny215Jun 11
Replying to @hittyminny
I’m quite fond of Zoln di lise in dayn hemd khasunah hoben mit di vantzen in dayn matras, aun zeyer zoymen zoln zikh aynshteln in dayne untervesh. (May the lice in your shirt marry the bedbugs in your mattress, and may their offspring set up residence in your underwear.)
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