Jane, actually (@MaidOfBeans) header
Jane, actually (@MaidOfBeans) profile picture

Jane, actually

@MaidOfBeans

Wake me up when the mothership arrives. https://teapawt.net/t.co/eMxuk4co7f

Joined March 2021
  • Tweets27.2K
  • Following1.4K
  • Followers4.3K
66Media
Photo by Jane, actually (@MaidOfBeans)Photo by Jane, actually (@MaidOfBeans)Photo by Jane, actually (@MaidOfBeans)Photo by Jane, actually (@MaidOfBeans)Photo by Jane, actually (@MaidOfBeans)Photo by Jane, actually (@MaidOfBeans)Photo by Jane, actually (@MaidOfBeans)
Women aren't that complicated, all we need is a really good murder show and a comfortable bra.
21
216
13
1,234
59,548
How sad that kids nowadays will never get to experience the exhilarating joy of almost choking to death on a coin your grandma hid in a figgy pudding.
1
2
6
382
How many gray sedans in a parking lot is too many? Should I go to a different Walgreens?
16
60
174
9,232
Jane, actually retweeted
ES (@ESXIII) profile picture
ES
@ESXIII14 Jan 2025
A lot of tenors look like they’re watching a T-Rex eat a kitten while they’re singing, but not ol’ Pavarotti. He looked like he was trying to remember where he parked his car.
1
14
28
1,049
Jane, actually retweeted
krista (@kristabellerina) profile picture
krista
@kristabellerina21 Apr 2024
Had dinner with a bunch of moms and learned a lot about myself, like I learned I can tolerate dinner with a bunch of moms when there’s a lot of alcohol involved.
4
36
104
6,296
Jane, actually retweeted
LaLaLyds (@LaLa_Lyds) profile picture
LaLaLyds@LaLa_Lyds21 Apr 2024
Easily distracted by meatballs
7
60
1
180
14,671
I'm starting an OnlyFans but it's just me eating Aldi brand Tostitos and salsa while I'm watching Paranormal Caught on Camera
30
34
3
204
11,795
Jane, actually retweeted
Stu, For Real (@StuForReal) profile picture
Stu, For Real@StuForReal21 Apr 2024
Held off until after eleven to crack a beer it's called maturity
7
57
2
210
15,118
Jane, actually retweeted
DPW (@pondermymaker) profile picture
DPW@pondermymaker14 Apr 2024
In a shocking upset, I’m picking Antarctica in WWIII.
8
15
1,112
Jane, actually retweeted
floorboard (@StruggleDisplay) profile picture
floorboard@StruggleDisplay16 Mar 2024
My rescue dog is too slow to catch critters IRL bc of past trauma but when those lil paws start twitchin as she dreams…Man, I hope she runs like the wind.
8
25
1
135
9,104
Jane, actually retweeted
Stu, For Real (@StuForReal) profile picture
Stu, For Real@StuForReal16 Mar 2024
Woke up splintered into being again
2
23
41
2,159
Jane, actually retweeted
Amber (@Acesandraise) profile picture
Amber@Acesandraise15 Jan 2024
A perk about getting older is that I have to worry less about getting kidnapped or murdered.
3
1
12
745
Sixteen year old me would be devastated to know how excited I am about this bean soup I'm making.
5
30
94
5,777
If you need me, call me. Also, do not need me under any circumstances.
7
37
104
5,908
Jane, actually retweeted
Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) profile picture
Ghostface Kryllah@kryzazzy15 Mar 2024
Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable
8
54
2
181
7,961
Jane, actually retweeted
Marcmywords (@Marcmywords2) profile picture
Marcmywords@Marcmywords216 Mar 2024
I’ll try killing them with kindness at first, but then I’m moving on to Plan B.
3
69
1
109
6,098
Jane, actually retweeted
Stu, For Real (@StuForReal) profile picture
Stu, For Real@StuForReal16 Mar 2024
Okay brain you can stop braining now
2
52
1
100
4,681
One of these days those accordion lessons are going to pay off and you'll be sorry you made fun of my buckled shoes.
2
31
51
2,212
Stop misusing the term “narcissist.” Some people are just regular assholes
61
275
32
1,427
130,895

No more items