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OCCUPIED WORLD PREMIERE: WARNING! Sensitive Content, Viewer Discretion is Advised teapawt.net/i/broadcasts/1djxXrOAm…
Mat retweeted
If you're worried about people remembering every embarrassing thing you did, think about it. Can you remember other people's embarrassing moments? No. That's because you're the only one who's ever done something embarrassing. What the fuck is wrong with you lmao
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times and I'm not sure if the shame alternates or if it's still me.
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Definitely the future of television I had in mind was me having to google every movie I want to watch to see if it’s currently in one of its one-month windows on any of the seven streaming services I pay for. This is way easier than buying a DVD. I love it.
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You couldn’t make The Godfather today. It’s almost midnight, and making films takes ages.
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-WAIT!, stop. i declare i’ve won the egg and spoon race.
- but we’re still mid-race?
- also, i’m pretty sure your egg is illegal and corrupt.
- what the f**k are you talking about...?
Mat retweeted
HIPPO: These floors are lovely. What are they made of?
ME: Marble
HIPPO: *stomach growls* I'm sorry for what's about to happen
