Mat (@MatCro) header
Mat (@MatCro) profile picture

Mat

@MatCro
favstar.fm/users/MatCro
Joined July 2010
  • Tweets49.4K
  • Following586
  • Followers10.6K
884Media
Photo by Mat (@MatCro)Photo by Mat (@MatCro)Photo by Mat (@MatCro)Photo by Mat (@MatCro)Photo by Mat (@MatCro)Photo by Mat (@MatCro)Photo by Mat (@MatCro)Photo by Mat (@MatCro)Photo by Mat (@MatCro)Photo by Mat (@MatCro)
I've been compiling another list of very silly tweets so here they are: Very Silly Tweets Vol 2 teapawt.net/MatCro/timelines/72823…
6
34
9
154
SWINOTAUR. THE LAST ONE SHOULD HAVE BEEN SWINOTAUR.
2
3
277
Replying to @M4ttso
Thanks. That's it now until 2033
2
47
Replying to @M4ttso
Thanks a lot mate. I've been working on that since 2017.
1
60
Mat retweeted
Mat (@MatCro) profile picture
Mat@MatCro1 Feb 2017
COP: Can you describe your attacker? ME: No COP: Didn't you see him? ME: Yes, but I have a poor grasp of adjectives
1
458
6
1,356
ME: I've been told I'm going to need a CT scan. DAVE: Have you got a date for it? ME: No, I'll probably go on my own.
3
9
1,102
OCCUPIED WORLD PREMIERE: WARNING! Sensitive Content, Viewer Discretion is Advised teapawt.net/i/broadcasts/1djxXrOAm…
Video
0:00

Stew Peters

OCCUPIED WORLD PREMIERE: WARNING! Sensitive Content, Viewer Discretion is Advised

4,697
19,413
2,923
40,016
11,688,374
Visiting Your Grown Kids
2,850
11,811
2,299
105,212
10,705,604
everyone on their third hour of watching the #OpeningCeremony
Image from Marty Lawrence (@TeaAndCopy)
326
3,624
341
34,817
2,722,798
If you're worried about people remembering every embarrassing thing you did, think about it. Can you remember other people's embarrassing moments? No. That's because you're the only one who's ever done something embarrassing. What the fuck is wrong with you lmao
34
3,993
260
33,813
1,091,815
"My work here is done" - Yoda, pointing at his desk.
5
32
149
13,823
Wife: Sarah's husband gives her flowers EVERY day. I wish you'd do that! Me: uh ok [next day] Me *giving Sarah flowers* no I don't get it either
20
2,495
35
17,034
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times and I'm not sure if the shame alternates or if it's still me.
55
1,677
39
4,153
GF: Why do you always include me in your Strava titles when we go for a run? ME: (knowing it's to explain the slow pace to my mates) I want people to know how in love we are.
3
1,657
Replying to @ThemeParkWW
Did this in the rain one day and it was super smooth (for an SLC) and faster than usual. Great fun.
1
1
212
Replying to @ThemeParkWW @flamingolanduk
We think Sik is the second best ride in the UK. Velocity is great fun and Kumali is a pretty smooth SLC. So, yes, a decent coaster line up and well worth a visit
2
39
A zillion hours of quality streaming at my fingertips and all I want to watch is a local historian talking about snickets and a guy from Uttoxeter going on rollercoasters.
1,385
Replying to @johnsrichardson
Haha. Like that one.
1
87
What if a basin knocked on your door, asking to spend 60 seconds in your house? Just let that sink in for a minute.
1
19
2,926
Replying to @CBarronie
Hello mate. More likely a sign things are going to get worse. How are you?
1
114
Load more