Sally Something (@NotThatSally) header
Sally Something (@NotThatSally) profile picture

Sally Something

@NotThatSally

Remember when you could get a cup of coffee for the price of keeping a starving kid in Africa alive?

 Earth
favstar.fm/users/NotThatSally
Joined June 2012
  • Tweets192
  • Following2.7K
  • Followers2K
That first date moment when you admit to crying during "The Notebook" and she admits to shaving her balls.
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My kids fight over the chargers for their phones like wolves over a deer carcass.
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I talk a lot of shit for a girl with a blankie.
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I'm not a messy person unless you count my disordered brain..
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Burn my goddamn Pop-tarts and I will burn everything that you own.
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It would suck if you broke your rib to suck your own dick & discovered it tastes terrible.
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I won $300 on the Derby yesterday & I'm spending the winnings on a strawberry at Whole Foods.
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Following all the babes who follow @comedytruth for the next 15 minutes 😉 x x
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I just gave my review of the #MTVMovieAwards on Vine. Follow me there under the name my parents gave me, Jenny Johnson. #DoinIt
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Sally Something retweeted
Slaydrienne (@TheBlessMess) profile picture
Slaydrienne@TheBlessMess5 Apr 2013
Nobody asks me to smuggle things between my butt cheeks anymore.
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I'm never more proud of myself than when I'm able to sit through an entire conversation without correcting their horrible mispronunciations.
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I'm insecure about my tiny penis :( RT @Stellarosesmom: @JennyJohnsonHi5 You don't have to be disgusting to be a funny woman. Disappointing
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Sally Something retweeted
WitStream (@WitStreamdotcom) profile picture
WitStream@WitStreamdotcom23 Mar 2013
"My turtle didn't die, it turned into a pet rock!" - @AdamHammer splitsider.com/2013/03/today…
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Sally Something retweeted
Kat Kylie (@BabygirlSpivey) profile picture
Kat Kylie@BabygirlSpivey13 Mar 2013
Something something something. Sorry.
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Sally Something retweeted
Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) profile picture
Funny Or Die
@funnyordie17 Mar 2013
This pretty much sums up the final night of #SXSW. vine.co/v/bpuhYV3ZxI2
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Sally Something retweeted
Slaydrienne (@TheBlessMess) profile picture
Slaydrienne@TheBlessMess5 Mar 2013
A reality show where celebrity toddlers laugh hysterically at homeless people dumpster diving.
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I got my tail clipped today.
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Just farted the chorus to Foghat's 'Slow Ride'.
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Sally Something retweeted
NoLuckWanted (@NoLuckWanted) profile picture
NoLuckWanted@NoLuckWanted22 Dec 2012
"Fuck you." - Sober me. "Fuck me." - Drunk me. "Fuck everything." Hungover me.
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Sally Something retweeted
X Alqee (@Xalqee) profile picture
X Alqee@Xalqee12 Mar 2013
It puts the lotion in the Conclave, or else it gets the hose again!
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