Grandma Gone Rogue

“I have a slew of art/writing projects that I want to begin or complete. Perhaps I should finish just one so that I can validate my self as an artist?” —the procrastinator’s lament

I like to have the oldies music playing while I'm baking. It's on low volume so it won't interfere with my inner dialogue. 😜

Our friendly disembodied AI voice needs to change up her schtick when making random, unasked for, monitoring forrays on my phone by answering in a rumbling Lurch voice, "You rang?"

Ever wonder why pumpkin pie isn't called pumpkin-spice pie? It has the requisite spices. It's the OG of the pumpkin spice trend.

The bag of Halloween candy I got at Sam's today has been breached. To my credit I used a pair of scissors to open it, rather than rip it open with my teeth. I'm not a savage afterall. Germs. Ew.

Things I think about while I'm doing my 10k steps: Oh $#!+. I forgot to take the silicone gasket off the lid of the instant pot when I put it in the dishwasher. Now I'll have to run it again for a 3 hour plus cycle. 😡🤬

In the name of scientific inquiry, I am going to test the palatability of the high protein cookies I've just baked. One small step for humanity, one giant step for cookie lovers of mankind.

Just following Doctor's instruction, folks. I'm eating ice cream and pound cake (refrigerated) because cold, soft foods for 24 hours.

Going to Whole Foods today to join other hunter-gatherers seeking organic, non-bioengineered foods, in order to fufill our nutritional manifest destiny.

It's obvious that no one is going to pick the two smallest cookies in the corner of the cookie bin. It's up to me, I guess, to liberate them from size-shaming humiliation.

The good news is that we both performed younger than our chronological ages on our walking apps. The better news is that I'm younger that he is. The bad news is that we're still both older than dirt. 😡 Grrrrr!