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Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms) profile picture

Random Dadisms

@RandomDadisms

I'm an overgrown kid in my forties with three crazy little boys (14, 13, & 10) and a very patient (and tired) wife.

 Olympia, Washington
randomdadisms.com
Joined December 2013
  • Tweets2.2K
  • Following1.2K
  • Followers1.9K
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Photo by Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms)Photo by Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms)Photo by Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms)Photo by Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms)Photo by Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms)Photo by Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms)Photo by Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms)Photo by Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms)Photo by Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms)Photo by Random Dadisms (@RandomDadisms)
Random Dadisms retweeted
WA Fathers Network (@WSFN) profile picture
WA Fathers Network@WSFN28 Oct 2015
Post Edited: The Challenges of Being a Stay at Home Dad, Raising a Special Needs Child and More – One Dad’s Story fathersnetwork.org/2015/10/2…
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5yo: Why did the chicken cross the road? Me: Why? 5yo: Because she wanted to fart STAY TUNED FOR MORE GREAT 5YO HUMOR
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Random Dadisms retweeted
Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) profile picture
Kate Hall@KateWhineHall29 Sep 2015
At Target. Cashier: Do you have any bags today? Me: Just these. [Points to area under eyes.]
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Random Dadisms retweeted
dadmissions (@Dadmissions) profile picture
dadmissions@Dadmissions7 Sep 2015
kids have been talking for months about wanting to take a cruise next summer... tonight we watched Titanic on TV... think we solved THAT
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Random Dadisms retweeted
HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) profile picture
HowToBeADad@HowToBeADad7 Sep 2015
My youngest son's kisses are less kiss and more headbutt.
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Girl: I can't wait to have kids! I babysit so I pretty much know what it's like to be a parent. It'll be easy. Me: *laughs for 20 minutes*
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Random Dadisms retweeted
Jules (@PolishedByJules) profile picture
Jules@PolishedByJules28 Aug 2015
I'm the luckiest parent ever. My kids already know everything (just ask them) so I've freed up some time to watch TV.
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I'm not saying I gave up on parenting today, but I did just let my 5yo put sprinkles on his goldfish crackers.
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Random Dadisms retweeted
Karen (@amusedbyu) profile picture
Karen@amusedbyu8 Nov 2013
Ahhh the sweet smell of success. Clothes that made it to the dryer before mildew sets in.
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Random Dadisms retweeted
Dad Bros Show (@DadBrosShow) profile picture
Dad Bros Show@DadBrosShow11 Aug 2015
We will be #LIVE on DadBros.tv 9:30pm EST We will have a special guest in studio @apexDaddy. #planahead #seeyouthere
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Random Dadisms retweeted
Rick Aaron (@RickAaron) profile picture
Rick Aaron@RickAaron30 Jun 2014
I have no idea what Steampunk is except that it must be healthier than Fried Punk.
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And a diet coke please... I'm trying to watch my weight...
Image from Swedish Canary 🇺🇸🇸🇪 (@SwedishCanary)
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Pete Lynch (@PJTLynch) profile picture
Pete Lynch@PJTLynch6 Aug 2015
Assembling a trampoline is hard work, but it's worth it when your kids look up with those big eyes and say "Daddy, why isn't it done yet?"
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Random Dadisms retweeted
Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) profile picture
Andy H.@AndyAsAdjective31 Jul 2015
*signs card for coworker's baby shower at office* "THEY CRY LIKE ALL THE TIME AND POOP A LOT. GOOD LUCK CHUMP"
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My toddler woke up upset because he couldn't find his glasses, but what really set him off was when I told him he doesn't even wear glasses.
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Random Dadisms retweeted
Dad Bros Show (@DadBrosShow) profile picture
Dad Bros Show@DadBrosShow30 Jul 2015
Don't for get today's show. Happy Thursday! #podcast #share #brodadlife #dadbros
Image from Dad Bros Show (@DadBrosShow)
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My little guy has been imitating everything lately, time to really watch what I say and do 😇 #motherhood #parenting
Image from Tenderfoot Mama (@tenderfootmama)
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Wendy S. (@maughammom) profile picture
Wendy S.@maughammom16 Jul 2015
5yo: "I don't want to." Me: "Why not?" 5yo: Because I don't. It's very easy that way."
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Random Dadisms retweeted
Seattle Seahawks (@Seahawks) profile picture
Seattle Seahawks
@Seahawks9 Jun 2015
Sherman on #fatherhood: "The hours of operation have shifted. You have to make sure that you change that diaper quickly." #OTAs – at Renton, WA
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Random Dadisms retweeted
AussieAnnie (@MummaCrazy) profile picture
AussieAnnie@MummaCrazy13 Jul 2015
My favourite part about asking my boys to clean their room is listening to them yell "nah, that's not mine you put it away" for an hour.
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