Tim Govers

my infant daughter is covered in pâté and lobster bisque and these pearls won’t clutch themselves

actually it’s frankenfurter’s monster 💅

I changed the framed Christmas photo on a side-table to a more recent one and the baby is FURIOUS

“A ship— a magnificent ship— full of gay men… and me”

here’s a cosi livs tip i just learned from my infant daughter: save money on eyebrow piercings by smearing your face with broccoli debris. unlike hats, shoes and sunglasses this will remain in place for weeks and even months due to the astonishing adhesive property of baby spit.

POV: your dad’s gone and taken you and the dog to the pub on a thursday

I’m in Manhattan and not only have I been enjoying drinkable coffee, I’m being served “mate” and “no worries” right and left. The Australianisation of the USA is almost complete.

i just saw an ad for a daimler pictured with a jaguar leaper on the bonnet on a hitherto perfect sunday afternoon for goodness sake

please someone buy my car so i can exit this purgatory that is marketplace

it’s doggone Friday already

lunch was not until 2 today AND i STILL had work to do. i don’t recall the details of the videos about modern slavery i had to watch during corporate training because i was making coffee while they played and only showed up for the multi choice quiz but do i have a case or no?

happy Friday tô all who celebrate

🤔

I ordered what I thought was an escargot pain aux raisin but it’s a spinach and cheese thingo and excuse me if I didn’t just pull a face like the babies in those reels as I took my first bite