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I had to buy rope and duct tape today.
I added a bible to it, so I wouldn't look "creepy"
I'm willing to bet my "Sexy John Goodman" outfit is gonna be a hit with the ladies at the American Legion Halloween Brunch
I try to look on the bright side of shit.
The bright side of not sleeping at night is being able to watch the sun rise.
Gotta love the sulfur polluted glow of steel mills and whatever shit Indiana has in the air
Dolla Sto Waffles retweeted
Well, now there is finally a matchmaking service for dogs.
At "Happy Animals," matchmakers guarantee to find your dog a perfect mate, based on height, weight, age, and breed.
So far, the dog dating service has had a one hundred percent success rate because, according to its founders, any dog will have sex with any other dog.
Making Panera Broccoli Soup for dinner.
For the cost of 1 soup at Panera, I'm gonna make a big ass batch.
"Ass-Batch" was also the name of my Punk Band in the 90s
Dolla Sto Waffles retweeted
Replying to @Wook316
Very interesting 🤔 Did ya see what kind of car she had? Was her windows on her car really clean?
Dolla Sto Waffles retweeted
I don't know when it happened, but at some point in my life I started hoarding freezer packs.
Dolla Sto Waffles retweeted
Folks, I did something crazy tonight.
I watched a movie, all the way thru, without picking up my phone once.
The movie was Toy Story 5 in case u were curious.
Dolla Sto Waffles retweeted
The scariest thing I've seen this Halloween is the price of a bag of candy
PT Done.
Now just sitting, waiting for my ride as my back throbs.
That may be the 1st time I used the term "Throbs" in a non Sextual Format.
Look at me, personal growth
Dolla Sto Waffles retweeted
Replying to @Wook316
That reminds me of the movie " My Big Fat Greek Wedding!"
Dolla Sto Waffles retweeted
Replying to @Wook316
Oh it’s bad. Don’t open it. You’ll start a zombie apocalypse with you as patient zero. Although this does sound like a good plot for a zombie film
Dolla Sto Waffles retweeted
Getting one retweet around here these days is the new fucking your hot teacher.
Dolla Sto Waffles retweeted
Texas millionaire J. Howard Marshall may have died two months ago, but as we see here, he and wife Anna Nicole Smith can still enjoy a romantic evening at home.












