Rob Jones (@_The_Man__) profile picture

Rob Jones

@_The_Man__

i know a guy in nebraska that sells high quality black market ducks

Joined January 2015
  • Tweets222
  • Following93
  • Followers189
2Media
Photo by Rob Jones (@_The_Man__)Photo by Rob Jones (@_The_Man__)
Rob Jones retweeted
Paul (@FrenulumBreve) profile picture
Paul@FrenulumBreve22 Jul 2014
[at the zoo] Llama spits in my face I spit in llamas face Llama slaps me I grab llamas hair Scuffle ensues Llamas gf shouts "leave it Gary!"
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The sick husband paradox: Act too sick and wife calls you a baby. Act not sick enough and wife says, "You're totally fine."
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have u met my attorney
Image from priscilla page (@BBW_BFF)
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Wife: How was work? Good. *holds breath* (Do not lie. Do NOT lie. DO NOT lie for absolutely no fucking reason.) I saw a dragon today.
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First time flying huh? -Yeah how could you tell? Just a hunch. You wanna come down to your seat? The overhead bin is typically for luggage.
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Rob Jones retweeted
brent (@murrman5) profile picture
brent@murrman518 Feb 2015
"why's there a tiger and a bunch of dirtbikes in the backyard" [wife getting out suitcases] your father is shooting his music video today
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Can I go out and do drugs tonight dad? EXCUSE ME?! *sighs* MAY I go out and do drugs tonight dad *snaps newspaper* that's better
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Rob Jones retweeted
huntigula (@huntigula) profile picture
huntigula@huntigula20 Feb 2014
fun fact: the song "Purple Rain" is about Grimace crying
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All firemen must dread the moment when they're done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
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"I'll go first, then you come out afterwards." "Ok cool." "Neil? Afterwards. I mean it." "Yeah alright [barges by] THAT'S 1 SMALL STEP FOR M
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For sale: baby shoes, never worn, haunted as fuck. Think a ghost baby wore these shits. They scream in the night. It's terrible. 9 dollars.
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Hello 911? I was doing that thing where you pretend to walk down stairs behind a couch only it worked. I have no idea where I am. Help me.
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