日本語を学ぶ学生 日々の暮らしを記録中 読書家で、書くことが大好き ✍
Joined June 2026
- Tweets3.5K
- Following517
- Followers1.2K
- Likes5.3K
♡ retweeted
My boyfriend has made me so comfortable about my period that I actually look forward to those few days every month.
I’ve been staying at his place for the past few months.
The first time he saw me struggling with cramps, I kept apologizing for being moody and not feeling my best. He looked at me like I’d said something ridiculous, pulled me closer, and asked why I was apologizing for something I couldn’t control.
I swear, that little moment changed something in me.
♡ retweeted
My sixteen-year-old daughter, Clara, started receiving flowers from an unknown man.
Every Friday, they appeared on our doorstep. White roses wrapped in brown paper.
No name. No return address.
Just a small card tucked between the stems.
The first said, "You looked lovely today."
The second said, "Please don't tell your mother yet. Let me explain everything to her myself."
My stomach turned to ice.
I asked Clara who he was. She went pale.
"Mum, please. He's not a bad person."
That terrified me more than anything.
I checked our doorbell camera. Every Friday, at exactly 4:15 p.m., a grey-haired man walked up our path. He never knocked. He never stayed. He simply left the flowers, stood there for a moment, and walked away.
The following Friday, I left work early and waited behind the curtains.
When his car pulled up, I was outside before he reached the steps...
♡ retweeted
CASE FILE: The 500-Gallon Underground Tank
Source: Independent propane delivery driver log, Sussex County, NJ (January 2024)
"I was sent to leak-test and fill a 500-gallon underground propane tank for a new homeowner who had just closed on a 1960s split-level.
Before hooking up the delivery nozzle, I brushed the dirt and corrosion off the data plate on the dome to check the manufacturer and hydrostatic test date.
The plate was brass, but it wasn't stamped with an ASME code or an inspector's symbol.
It was an older Department of Defense surplus plate stamped RECEPTACLE, LIQUID STORAGE - 500 GAL, with the service line hard-plumbed straight down through copper tubing that ran through a sleeve in the foundation wall, four feet below the lawn."
I drive a 3,000-gallon bobtail for a regional supplier as an owner-operator. It was fourteen degrees that morning, and the ground was frozen hard enough that I had to chip the dome lid loose with a dead-blow hammer.
The work order said "new account, existing underground tank, no fill history." That's a flag. Any tank with no fill record in three years or an ownership change gets a nameplate check and a leak test before I put product in it. The company rule is that if the plate doesn't pass, nothing goes in.
The homeowner, Marisol Quintero, stood by the truck in her coat. Her seller's disclosure said "buried propane tank, heating." The house was heated with an oil furnace.
The corrosion on the plate came off with a wire brush. No ASME U-stamp, no National Board number, and no hydro dates. Just the Defense Department serial, a Navy stock number, and the words RECEPTACLE, LIQUID STORAGE.
Under the dome there was no vapor line, no regulator, and no fill valve. What I did see was a gauge reading 42 psi, and next to it a tire-style Schrader valve with a clean brass cap. The cap had grease on its threads.
I cracked the outage valve to see what was inside. A propane tank gives you vapor and the smell of mercaptan. This gave me a thin, hard stream of faintly tea-colored water that hissed out under pressure and steamed in the January air. It had no smell at all...
♡ retweeted
My biggest weakness has always been a man who grabs me by the waist. It sounds so small, but I love those little moments when a man pulls me closer just because he wants me near him. My daughter’s father used to be that man. For the first year of our relationship, he was affectionate, attentive, and made me feel wanted. He loved going out, clubbing, drinking, and smoking, but I never thought those things would eventually destroy our relationship.
Then I got pregnant. The moment I told him, everything changed. He became furious, distant, and cold. The same man who used to pull me close by my waist suddenly couldn’t even bring himself to touch me. He continued going out at night. Whenever he came home, I’d try to get close to him, hoping things might go back to how they were. But he’d tell me he was tired. Then his phone would ring.
Suddenly, he had the energy to grab his keys and leave, sometimes in the middle of the night. I never knew whether he was meeting another woman or someone else entirely. For five years, I lived like that.
I decided to keep my pregnancy, gave birth to my daughter, and took care of her. We still lived under the same roof, but sometimes he would disappear for weeks without coming home. I started doing food deliveries to support myself and my baby. Eventually, I stopped waiting for him to become the man I’d fallen in love with.
♡ retweeted
この前、仕事中に女性のお客さんが来たんだけど、電話しながら入ってきたから、最初は特に気にしていなかった。
でも、ある言葉が聞こえてきて、思わず耳を疑った。
女性：「どれだけ酔ってたかなんて関係ないでしょ！相手はあなたのいとこなのよ！ショーン、何回言わせるの？」
私は同僚を見て、声を出さずに「は？？？」と口を動かした。同僚もまったく同じ顔をしていた（笑）。
なんとか平静を装って会計を済ませたけど、どうしても会話が気になって聞き続けてしまった。
女性：「いとこ同士でも、いとこは変わらないでしょ！血のつながった親戚なのよ！相手が自分のいとこだって分かってたのに、それでもヤッたんでしょ！」
家具店の裏にある倉庫で働いているんだけど、仕事がない時間が結構多くて、そういうときはみんな自分の椅子に座って、次の仕事が来るのを待っている。お互いの椅子を勝手に使わないのが暗黙のルールになっている。
数週間前、建物の清掃を担当していた人が解雇された。その後、新しい清掃スタッフが採用されたんだけど、最近、その人が倉庫に来て私たちと一緒に座っていることが増えた。しかも、いつも私の椅子に座る。
それだけでも嫌なのに、トイレ掃除に使った手袋を外さず、そのまま座るんだよ……。
私たちは仕事がないときに座って待つのが仕事のうちだけど、前の清掃スタッフは週に数時間しか来なかったし、倉庫に戻ってきて私たちと話すことなんてほとんどなかった。
♡ retweeted
A guest called me eye candy so I swallowed her husbands cùm in supply closet…
I bartend at a hotel pool during the summers when I'm not teaching. The uniform is a bikini top and shorts. I have big tits and a degree in education and apparently some people think those two things can't exist in the same person.
This couple was sitting at the bar. She was mid-forties, highlighted hair, designer sunglasses pushed up on her head, the kind of woman who snaps her fingers to get your attention. He was quiet, decent looking, salt and pepper, seemed uncomfortable every time she opened her mouth.
I mixed up their drink order. My fault, I own it, it was busy and I swapped their cocktails. I apologized immediately and offered to remake them. She looked me up and down and said "this is what happens when they hire eye candy instead of actual bartenders." Loud enough for the people next to them to hear.
I smiled and said "I actually have a degree, I just like the tips here." She did that little laugh, the one that isn't a laugh, and said "sure you do, sweetheart." Then she turned to her husband and said something I couldn't hear but the look on his face told me it was about me and it wasn't nice.
I made their drinks correctly. Smiled. Walked away. And seethed for about twenty minutes.
♡ retweeted
The school's automated system flagged me for skipping 3rd period, and my coach benched me for the next two soccer games. I was in the nurse's office with a migraine that whole period, and I'd signed in at the door like you're supposed to. I asked for a meeting with the vice principal and brought one thing on my phone…
♡ retweeted
THE CHILDREN ASKED WHY I STOPPED WEARING MY WEDDING RING
My son noticed I’d stopped wearing my wedding ring before I told anyone we were separating.
I was 35.
My wife had admitted to an affair three weeks earlier, and I was still deciding what to do.
I’d taken the ring off one morning because it felt uncomfortable.
I left it on the bathroom shelf and forgot about it.
At breakfast, my son looked at my hand and asked where it had gone.
I told him I’d taken it off for a while.
He asked whether his mother knew.
I said we had some things to discuss.
♡ retweeted
WHEN YOU FIND A "VALUABLE TREASURE" AND DECIDE TO GIFT IT TO YOUR EN£MY 💀💣
♡ retweeted
Visa Officer: “Why are you traveling to Canada?”
Applicant: “My son invited me to attend his citizenship ceremony.”
Visa Officer: “How long has he been living in Canada?”
Applicant: “Six years.”
Visa Officer: “And you haven’t visited him once during that time?”
Applicant: “No. I couldn’t afford to go before. Now I can, and he wants me to be there.”
Visa Officer: “Who is paying for the trip?”
Applicant: “My son purchased my flight. I’ll pay for everything else.”
Visa Officer: “You’re retired?”
Applicant: “Yes.”
Visa Officer: “What income do you receive?”
Applicant: “My pension, plus rental income from two properties.”
♡ retweeted
Him: I'd like to speak to your manager.
Me: Of course. What's the issue?
Him: The issue is I asked for a manager, sweetheart. Not the receptionist.
Me: Understood. Give me one moment.
Him: Finally..Somebody who knows what they're doing.
I put him on hold, Counted to ten. Pressed the button again.
Me: Hi, this is the manager.
Him: ...Oh.
Me: What can I help you with today?
Him: Look, no offense meant.
Me: None taken. What's the issue?
Him: My refund. Three weeks and nothing.
Me: I see your file. It was flagged after how you spoke to my team last Tuesday.
Him: That was a misunderstanding.
Me: Then I'm sure you'll apologize to her. She's the one who processes refunds.
Him: Fine. Put her on.
Me: She's right here. Go ahead.
He apologized, Properly.
I approved the refund the same minute.
♡ retweeted
Mr. Bean wanted to paint his room but couldn’t be bothered using a brush, so he decided to blow up a tin of paint instead.
This man will do absolutely anything except the normal thing. 😂
♡ retweeted
I was examining a cat and the owner said “his brother had bad teeth. Can you check his teeth?”
I know that a lot of times people with cats that are not genetically related will call them “brother” or “sister” and I need to clarify for a proper history.
So, what comes out of my mouth is:
“Are they actually brothers or, like, brothers in Christ?”
Her: …
Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that.”
♡ retweeted
Half bread is better than none.
No be your mate get full loaf of bread?
Some even get bakery wey dey manufacture the bread.
So, because of half bread, you dey speak English.
Omo, people dey talk ooh.
♡ retweeted
昨晩、妻と一緒に入浴していたところ、妻がタオルを取ろうとして何気なく振り向きました。
彼女の裸の体を一見ただけで、脳が追いつく前に体が反応しました。 😂
私たちは何年も結婚しており、妊娠や出産、子育てに伴うすべての変化を経て、今では彼女に会うことに慣れていると思われるでしょう。
どうやらそうではありません。
私はすぐに、水温の調整に非常に興味があるふりをし、彼女に私の恥ずかしい反応に気付かれないようにしました。
彼女は私を疑わしげに見て、「なぜそんなに変に振る舞うのですか？」と尋ねた。
ほとんど失いかけました。 😭
既婚男性、正直にしてください。 奥様の裸を見ると、まだ胸がときめきますか—それとも、最も予想しないときに体がまだ驚かせますか？