Adrian (@adrianmyreality) profile picture

Adrian

@adrianmyreality

Just here for the laughs. Reaching out to those in need. Wife/mom. Severe allergy to bullshit.

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Joined January 2019
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  • Following2K
  • Followers27.9K
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My new pronouns are Mentally Unstable
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Somebody called me a who-re, and that was one of the best compliments I’ve gotten in years
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Adrian retweeted
Green God (@iGreenGod) profile picture
Green God
@iGreenGodNov 9
Boss on video: Can everyone hear me? 3-year-old: Daddy, is that the man you yell at in the car?
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Welcome to New Jersey, you don’t need ID to vote, but you do need it if you’re buying Claritin D for your allergies
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I asked my husband what he thinks makes a woman unattractive, his answer “was a cock”
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I'm at my best when developing an elaborate hypothesis about an irrelevant subject.
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My husband is deaf in one ear, so every time we’re having seggs I have to remember to moan in the good ear
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If I dressed according to my salary I'd be naked all the time.
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Is it rude to wear an eye mask while having segs , my husband likes to keep the lights on but they are blinding me
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I just helped one of my customers, an old gentleman, who'd hurt his leg and needed some tape applied to the bandage on his leg because it had come off. So yeah, call me nurse Claire.
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Keep your friends close and your big boobed friends closer
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2 more sessions to go and Dr. Small will give me my sharp objects back.
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My husband has some kind of medical test coming up but needs to take an enema first, he asked me to help him, I said okay, we are on our way to the jewelry store
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Them: You're so lazy Me: I prefer to call it energy saving mode
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The worst part of the plague is nobody knows how to spell pneumonic.
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When someone says, "the last thing I want to do is hurt you"... that just means it's on the list of things to do to me, just not first.
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Ma'am you take me to seriously, I'm here to have fun. Mute!!
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"Don't let someone ruin your peace just because they can't find theirs."
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I like doing random acts of kindness. Like not telling your wife you’ve sent me pics of your genitalia for example
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I'm a social drinker.... I drink so I can tolerate listening to people talk.
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