@fml

The home of FML since 2009. Submit your FML at https://xitter.cf/t.co/5v5VLifFd1 or via our new iOS and Android app - https://xitter.cf/t.co/TSOTsJwtxJ

 Everywhere, baby
fmylife.com
Joined February 2009
  • Tweets79.9K
  • Following468
  • Followers117K
12.8KMedia
Might have to give out regular apples for Halloween this year because razor blades are so expensive. Thanks Biden
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Saw this headline, went “for the sake of my well being that’s not real” and then went and dipped my feet in this gorgeous open ocean and now I feel better
TMZ
@TMZOct 25
Nicki Minaj Floated As Press Secretary Replacement By White House Staffers tmz.com/2026/10/25/nicki-min…

Nicki Minaj Floated As Press Secretary Replacement By White House Staffers

Nicki Minaj has received some informal nominations to be the next White House Press Secretary ... with 2 staffers glowingly floating her name as a replacement after Katie Zacharia was fired.

tmz.com
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🎶Chestnuts roasting on an open fire 🎶….
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When I look back over my life... Everything I've been through... To be here now, with you... Is the best possible outcome. Thank you all for letting me love on you. Tonight I'm having a little speed puzzle fun. Completing 500 pieces in under 2 hours. Join me here now: Twitch.tv/ijustlovepuzzles youtube.com/@ijustlovepuzzle…
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XOXO@joshipgiirlOct 23
ethan klein shocked his wife
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Damn, that was fast.
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I was here first?
Bella
@stockbellaOct 22
If people dislike Elon Musk so much, why do they still use the platform he owns?
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sorry i cant come in to work today ethan klein cheated on his wife and i have to be on the internet all day for that
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Anyone else find google docs spellcheck to be unbelievably bad at times? Like get one letter wrong in some words and it’s utterly flummoxed.
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well they famously did not turn the titanic around at all
FactPost
@factpostnewsOct 20
JD Vance on the economy: "You don't turn the Titanic around overnight"
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I feel moved to post my Elizabeth Holmes impression
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My latest video was just claimed over 15 seconds of me jokingly singing the chorus of Flowers. No background music and I’m literally talking through it as a joke. @TeamYouTube I will never stop hating you until I die
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just the men...?
Spencer Hakimian
@SpencerHakimianOct 20
JUST IN: Donald Trump announces he is looking into launching a dating app for MAGA men
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FMyLife retweeted
Caroline@carolinekwanOct 19
as if I wasn’t already on her side
B@1ts_me_bambiOct 19
Opened Instagram and I randomly saw the lady with the earring on her sleeve😭😭 crazy algorithm
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FMyLife retweeted
Hbomberguy@HbomberguyOct 12
TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE GREATEST VIDEO EVER MADE
Madonna
@Madonna12 Oct 2016
Hillary gonna Snatch that Presidency so Watch out!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸She's A GIRL GONE WILD!💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻❤️🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🎉🎉🎉
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Would it be in poor taste to promote my video at this juncture? youtu.be/76Ygxcjnoxk?si=6zyk…

People Try to Pet Tigers Sometimes...

An exploration of people who try to pet tigers.TWITTER: https://t...

youtube.com
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Turns out the friction of having to learn photoshop was a crucial firewall protecting society from the terrible taste of small business owners
drew@ImNotOwnedOct 10
Look at this stupid AI bullshit lmao
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Finally! Great again!
Shannon Watts
@shannonrwattsOct 10
Starting Oct 19, the Trump administration is rolling back Biden-era airline passenger protections, and airlines will no longer have to provide stranded passengers with meals, hotels, or other assistance for delays or cancellations.
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FMyLife retweeted
derek guy
@dieworkwearOct 6
this is why we need walkable neighborhoods
Reuters
@ReutersOct 5
Hundreds of dachshunds strutted their tiny legs down the iconic Champs-Elysees, delighting onlookers as the 'Sausage Walk' celebrated its 2026 edition with colorful costumes, wagging tails, and French flair

Dachshunds strut in 'Sausage Walk' during Paris Fashion Week - News

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HEY @TeamYouTube PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR CREATORS BEING ROBBED BLIND WHEN THEY ARE CLEARLY ENGAGING IN FAIR USE! I’M BEING FORCED TO GIVE THIS RANDOM COMPANY A TON OF MONEY FOR LITERALLY NO REASON
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