a friend to all bugs

Joined April 2020
which fit is gonna get me the most free beers tonight
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me keeping notes on all my friends and their interests and pet peeves and allergies since I can’t trust my brain due to The Incident
"omg you remembered!" ofcourse i did. I have a file on you
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feeling the entire range of human emotions on the drive to work
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me pretending I’m going to Michael’s every time I have to go to the grocery store
I have been nothing but funny and sexy to you
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looney tunes ass video😭😭
Will they ever meet? 🤔👀 Two men are walking around a massive circular water tank, trying to find each other.
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Really raw doggin life no titties no lip filler no dad
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Last night, NOAA-20 captured a beautiful view of Super Typhoon Champi illuminated by the moon.
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I had a dream last night that I had a tattoo of a spiderweb on my shoulder and a spider hanging below it on my arm and I just looked up inspo and Demi Lovato has this exact tattoo?? This is like my Dua Lipa heart all over again 😪
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on my cutie pie shit today
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Ear nose and throat day at the gym
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shout out to Phil I love you Phil
It’s important for your development as a person to have a solid 6 months where the only person who cares if you live or die is the gas station guy
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bro last night was a stark reminder of what once was
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didn’t have to sacrifice a lamb and perform a series of endurance tests or answer any riddles for my hair to look okay today 🙏
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watch out Virginia I am unmedicated
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at my funeral, please take the bouquet off the coffin and toss it into the crowd to find out who's next.
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High functioning nothing addict
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people not knowing that “run/hide/fight” is true active shooter protocol (from the FBI) and not a social media intern “wording something badly” is weird to me, but i guess not all of us have been through active shooter drills
RedHawk Alert: EMERGENCY: An ACTIVE THREAT has been reported on the OXFORD Campus. RUN/HIDE/FIGHT! Whether you choose to run, hide or fight, be prepared to face a life threatening situation. Updates to follow.
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They should invent a My Body that can Sleep when it’s Tired
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i've had my oven preheated for weeks
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