mustard clown (@markydoodoo) header
mustard clown (@markydoodoo) profile picture

mustard clown

@markydoodoo

how litter do you know?

 Medford, MA
Joined July 2012
  • Tweets51.5K
  • Following319
  • Followers12.8K
1.2KMedia
Photo by mustard clown (@markydoodoo)Photo by mustard clown (@markydoodoo)Photo by mustard clown (@markydoodoo)Photo by mustard clown (@markydoodoo)Photo by mustard clown (@markydoodoo)Photo by mustard clown (@markydoodoo)Photo by mustard clown (@markydoodoo)Photo by mustard clown (@markydoodoo)Photo by mustard clown (@markydoodoo)Photo by mustard clown (@markydoodoo)
mustard clown retweeted
Nate (@thenatewolf) profile picture
Nate@thenatewolfOct 8
My wife, sensing I'm about to pull out my harmonica, gently places her hand on my thigh to let me know it's an inappropriate time. We are an incredible team.
48
2,347
195
44,095
557,322
mustard clown retweeted
Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) profile picture
Good Kyle@KyleMcDowell8611 Mar 2016
[wakes up with a hangover] uhh what happened last night [Carrot Top in bed beside me] Good morning [Me] Carrot Top my love, what happened
116
8,962
248
32,668
what do you call a spider in a suit. business legs
44
2
283
10,091
mustard clown retweeted
Casual Thursday (@CasualThursday) profile picture
Casual Thursday@CasualThursdayAug 25
Just shut down the whole karaoke bar with my version of the Skyrizi song. People with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis were coming up to me with tears in their eyes wanting to shake my hand. The bartender added me on insta and let me hit her Skyrizi pen.
81
1,246
61
22,846
469,766
mustard clown retweeted
Casey (@cahwit) profile picture
Casey
@cahwitAug 14
when a toddler drives a truck up your leg, it’s a sign of great respect in their culture
29
2,853
29
69,153
860,743
mustard clown retweeted
Old Man Rattle (@oldrattle_) profile picture
Old Man Rattle@oldrattle_Aug 4
farting so loud at petsmart that the parakeets start acting up
20
1,723
21
24,069
532,451
mustard clown retweeted
Thomas White (@len0killer) profile picture
Thomas White@len0killerAug 4
My uncle performed the first Minion autopsy out near Marietta. Year was ‘89. Thick, thick skin, like a boar’s. Downstairs was all cloaca. Kevin still visits the grave
160
6,616
148
78,909
3,791,629
mustard clown retweeted
meredith 🍉 (@dietz_meredith) profile picture
meredith 🍉@dietz_meredithJul 20
just stomped on the geico gecko and the sound it made was crazy. like wet fireworks
24
822
11
16,423
349,397
mustard clown retweeted
Thomas White (@len0killer) profile picture
Thomas White@len0killer29 Mar 2022
Big Boi: To’ up. from the flo’ up, while I growed up, swimmin in go-re-gous Flo-ri-da women but this pimp reside in Georgia. Coroner. Report I hope insurance shored up. Might have your rates turned up before them boys turn the corna. Andre 3000: She trapped in my cadmium palace
31
1,056
34
8,094
Nobody is complaining loudly enough that Wikipedia is sometimes no longer even on the first page of google results. Like what the hell are we doing
432
20,537
449
217,721
2,374,591
Man Stroker’s Ejacula
53
3,018
43
26,391
439,655
me: [peeling a banana] may i take ur jacket lol coworker also in the break room: do you think other people can't hear you
27
4,226
52
29,308
mustard clown retweeted
vladchoc (@vladchoc) profile picture
vladchoc@vladchoc7 Jun 2012
Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It's not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.
84
7,575
99
17,380
(Ancient Chinese rap battle) Eastern wind: my wife is very chaste and humble, ur wife can’t carry wood or she stumble River Fury: Ur wife goes to the heavenly rat banquet in a dress made of cheese. And u ask why shes home naked full of fleas (abacus guy moves one to the left)
108
8,610
216
49,826
mustard clown retweeted
Janel Comeau 🍁 (@VeryBadLlama) profile picture
Janel Comeau 🍁@VeryBadLlamaMay 3
every mushroom foraging guidebook: This is Woodland Pot Roast, a tasty little mushroom that adds a delightful flavour to soups and stews. Note that it is often mistaken for Satan’s Fistula, a mushroom that erases the last 9 generations of your family from God’s ledgers.
32
1,393
21
12,128
142,930
I don't hate men. Frankly, they got some heavy hitters. Abraham Lincoln, Weird Al Yankovic
210
2,654
100
55,718
1,030,455
mustard clown retweeted
jame (@kloogans) profile picture
jame
@kloogans12 Oct 2024
i have an area in my backyard i call "the big stew" it's a pit i dug where i dump old batteries, gas, household chemicals, and dr pepper. i stir it once a month
444
5,812
440
160,295
7,376,146
mustard clown retweeted
mustard clown (@markydoodoo) profile picture
mustard clown@markydoodoo28 Feb 2019
me: most dust is human skin flakes therefore roombas are carnivorous robots and one day the dust won’t satiate them anymore so they will rise up and devour us all therapist: can we go back to discussing your childhood me: one sec
14
766
11
3,333
mustard clown retweeted
mustard clown (@markydoodoo) profile picture
mustard clown@markydoodoo25 Sep 2019
Instead of buying a pumpkin from a pumpkin patch, I'm going to adopt one from a local shelter
19
1,317
13
7,029
mustard clown retweeted
mustard clown (@markydoodoo) profile picture
mustard clown@markydoodoo25 Oct 2017
Hey I’m offended by your costume. My dad was killed by a slutty tiger
27
1,519
11
5,165
Load more