myce/ium retweeted
We are going to deep fry RFK jr in beef tallow at a tailgate for the Washington Vaccines
myce/ium retweeted
If you can name a Morgan Wallen song you're getting sentenced to 5 years of hard labor in January.
I was on the bus, stuck in traffic. Dead silence. A man went "Remember to vote tomorrow!" Everyone immediately started arguing. I recorded some audio but dk how to upload it
myce/ium retweeted
opening the shell of the claymore to retrieve the delectable claymeats inside
myce/ium retweeted
The only thing that would sway my vote this election is six text messages from an unidentified number during my work day.
myce/ium retweeted
I’m sorry, but if you’re a former Stevens staffer you don’t get any credit for giving your little “oh, yeah, turns out she was vindictive and emotionally unwell the whole time actually” leaks now. You were trying make this person a US Senator.
Haley Stevens had a “bizarre obsession” with Mallory McMorrow, per a source familiar with the inner workings of Stevens’ Senate campaign:
“Nearly every thing Mallory said or did caused some sort of break down from Haley…Even after Mallory dropped out of the race, she and her fiance wanted to continue to attack McMorrow”
“On the day Mallory dropped out, Haley refused to call her. Instead, staff drafted a text for Haley to send to her. Haley still refused to send it, despite telling staff she was going to, and only sent it after a journalist from Politico reported that Haley had not reached out to Mallory yet.”
“There was a video that Haley attempted to film saying that Mallory had run a great race and encouraging Mallory’s supporters to vote for her, which ended up being scrapped because Haley sounded so insincere when praising McMorrow and her campaign.”
I wasn't anything for Halloween. I just drove my friend to his [redacted] and the greater Philadelphia highway system is one of the scariest things in the region.
myce/ium retweeted
Imagine putting together an entire halftime show based off of one woman doing a cover of Thunderstruck on xylophone……and having it KICK TOTAL ASS!




















