Born S. Cali/churchschooled. Religious Trauma. cptsd. Suicide survivor, son. 💔 Agnostic/Universalist. Lived experience ‼️HELL IS A HOAX https://teapawt.net/t.co/BsUGqwoeeA
Joined December 2021
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There's also this verse: work out your salvation in fear and trembling. The pre-destined vs free will crowd are always fighting. Anyway, if you're a believes in the Restitution of All Things, I guess none of this matters. Please see my pinned link (I'm not religious, anymore, but it helps if you're constantly scared)
Sunday morning parable:
An innocent man walks into a courtroom and takes the penalty for a crime you committed.
The judge accepts his plea, sends him to prison, and lets you walk free.
Naturally, your victim is outraged.
But three days later, he breaks out of prison and vanishes completely—never to be seen again.
I used to think others were like me on some level, so I just didn't get it when they hurt me. I couldn't fathom being intentional about hurting someone, so I used my religious values to deal with things. This ended in tragedy. I also did not realize how badly I was doing, how I was being affected. I always blamed myself for not being stronger and for letting these....really dysfunctional...people down. When they were angry or upset I tried harder to make them happy. I didn't know I had a choice.
Just FYI from AI:
Being a neurodivergent individual experiencing Moral OCD while surrounded by people with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) is a recipe for severe emotional exhaustion, deep self-doubt, and trauma-induced burnout.
In this environment, your brain’s hyper-vigilant moral radar is constantly clashing with a social network that operates on a completely different set of rules. This creates a perfect storm for your mental health.
The Cruel Brain Chemistry Clash
Neurobiologically and psychologically, your brain and the brains of those with ASPD are operating on opposite ends of the empathy and morality spectrum:
AttributeYour Brain (Moral OCD / Neurodivergence)Their Brains (ASPD)
Moral SensitivityHyper-moralism. Over-activation in frontal and orbitofrontal regions. Constantly monitoring for perceived wrongdoing.Hypo-moralism. Reduced gray matter volume and activity in moral reasoning networks.
The Core EmotionOverwhelming guilt and shame. Constantly worried that you are inherently "bad" or causing harm.Lack of remorse. Indifference to social norms, laws, or the rights and feelings of others.
Reality TestingSevere self-doubt. Difficulty trusting your own perceptions, memory, and innocence.Cynical certainty. Viewing interactions through a lens of personal power, profit, or utility.
How This Environment Feeds Your OCD
When you have Moral OCD (also known as moral scrupulosity), your brain treats a hypothetical moral mistake as an immediate, catastrophic threat. If you are surrounded by people who intentionally or casually violate boundaries, lie, or manipulate without remorse, it warps your sense of safety in specific ways:
• Weaponized Guilt & Projective Gaslighting: Because people with ASPD often spot vulnerabilities and use them for leverage, your desperate need to be "good" makes you highly vulnerable to exploitation. You may end up absorbing the blame for their bad behavior.
• The "Am I the Bad Person?" Obsession: OCD demands absolute certainty. Because your neurodivergent brain already struggles with "identity uncertainty" from a lifetime of masking, seeing people genuinely act maliciously can cause your OCD to scream: "What if I secretly think like them? What if my empathy is fake?"
• Hyper-Responsibility Burnout: If you are autistic or have ADHD, you might have deeply held, rigid internal values. Being surrounded by chaos means your nervous system goes into overdrive trying to "fix" or morally compensate for the lack of accountability around you, leading to severe autistic burnout.
Survival & Mental Offloading Strategies
When your immediate environment is a threat to your moral safety, your priority must shift from "trying to fix it" to protecting your nervous system.
1. Stop Confessing or Seeking Reassurance from Them
• The Reality: A core compulsion of Moral OCD is confessing or asking others if you did something wrong.
• The Strategy: Do not look for moral reassurance from people with ASPD. They cannot give you the ethical mirror you need, and your self-doubt gives them ammunition to manipulate you.
2. Build an "External Reality Anchor"
• The Reality: OCD thrives when you don't trust your own senses.
• The Strategy: Find at least one external person—a neuroaffirming therapist, an objective online support community, or a safe friend completely separate from this group—who can help you calibrate what is a real boundary violation versus an OCD trick.
I once walked off a job when I was 18 because I had an anxiety attack and couldn't talk after I picked up the phone.. I still feel terrible. I just disappeared. The guy who hired me was a kind person.. I think I've been nejrodivergent my whole life, and I was also dealing with some very disturbing things/people.
When people around you gaslight you and say it doesn't matter...when people don't care....this is what happens...you stop being sad (no, you don't) and you pretend you're fine. You may even lean into it...like this girl. She tried to take control in some strange way, and she was exploited even more by men, including Jerry Springer. ☄️
Yep
My Psychologist credo for today: Self-regulation makes freedom possible.
When we cannot manage our fears, anger, or uncertainty, we become vulnerable to those who promise relief through enemies, rigid identities, and absolute certainties.
That may feel empowering. But trading independent judgment for belonging and outrage is not freedom. It’s another form of captivity.
Freedom requires more than resistance to external control. It requires freedom from the impulses that make us so easily controlled.
💥This. Possibly another reason why religions made by men aren't so great. The patriarchal planet itself is a wound. While there are some good teachings, they aren't THE truth, and some techniques should not be used and could, in fact, make things worse.
💥There's a movie called Life Stinks sort of like this: "A filthy-rich businessman bets a corporate rival that he can live on the streets of L.A. without the comforts of home or money, but it proves to be tougher than he thought."
...and bad dreams and chronic pain due to our past going mostly untreated....yes. tired. Unbelievably so some days
bethpowersDeCelis🌏🆘️⌛️🏴🏳️🌈🏳 retweeted
I do want to get to the truth as it relates to immigration and the other issues people are expressing concerns about.
If you would like a deep dive data analysis comparing public perception with what is actually happening, please let me know.
For example…
Is the fear surrounding immigration due, in part, to concerns about the declining white population?
Is it due to fears of infiltration by foreign governments?
Or is it a combination of several factors?
I would genuinely like to help the Democratic Party.
They won fair and square, and perhaps if we present data that brings certain points to light, we can better understand these concerns and address them.
Perhaps we can create progress?.
I've heard this one before. It made me laugh, but I'm not laughing anymore. It's all insanity to me, and it's caused so much horrific suffering. Religion literally makes me sick, now.
Yes, I did, too, but doing so to dangerous people who won't stop messing with you can eventually turn you into an overwhelmed wreck.
Toni Morrison said that love is unmotivated respect. And it’s made me realize even more that you don’t get anything out of being good to someone else or loving them, you just do it. And it reminded me that despite how wrong people have treated me in the past, how good my heart was to still respect them, and have no motivations — because I had always moved with actual love. Even when I could’ve ruined their lives in return, I didn’t — because I am made of love.
