First Jimothy (@First_Jimothy) header
First Jimothy (@First_Jimothy) profile picture

First Jimothy

@First_Jimothy

The writings, sayings, wisdom and wit of the modern patriarchal sage, Jimothy. Not all tweets are original, satire & sarcasm are on the menu.

Joined January 2016
  • Tweets4.9K
  • Following1.1K
  • Followers2.8K
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If you don’t already, go follow @First_Jimothy, one of our favorite Anon accounts!
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First Jimothy retweeted
DocFull (@brofull) profile picture
DocFull@brofull9 May 2018
Did you hear about the guy graduating this week from the U of Hawaii? Magma cum Lava.
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First Jimothy retweeted
John Everett (@johnatignite) profile picture
John Everett@johnatignite18 Aug 2017
Replying to @First_Jimothy
Our church only has one set. You know...2 tongs don't make a right.
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End of Day 5 top #BitterBattleRoyale tweeters are: 1. @YaelSpeaks 2. @MrChurchGuy 3. @RecentPastor 4. @Churchpain 5. @PastorBitter
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GOOOOD MORNING, ANON CHURCH! Today is the last day our week of #BitterBattleRoyale! Friday's joke theme: youth ministry/youth pastor. Go!
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GOOOOD MORNING, ANON CHURCH! Today is day 3 in our week of #BitterBattleRoyale! Wednesday's joke theme: the choir/worship ministry. Go!
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#FF @FarmerCharlie @ClassicHits931 @DougDavidsonYR @hugeutfan @dog_rates @dariusrucker @lulustearoom @EllieWienerdog @First_Jimothy
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Their name seems sort of redundant, given the deacons I know. teapawt.net/randyvaughn6/status/87…
Randy Vaughn (@randyvaughn6) profile pictureRandy Vaughn@randyvaughn612 Jun 2017
Wake Forest's mascot "demon deacons" begs a tweet from @ChrchCurmudgeon, right?
Image from Randy Vaughn (@randyvaughn6)
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Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. - Stephen R. Covey
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Here's wisdom also found in Proverbs 24:16
Image from Pat McDaniel (@wise_insights4u)
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Replying to @First_Jimothy
the proper term is swim. You took your fish for a swim. And you think I'm the foolish one.
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Replying to @First_Jimothy
Wow. With friends like that, who needs anemones.
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I got the youth pastor to announce that Sir Isaac Newton wrote 'Amazing Grace.' He still doesn't realize the gravity of his mistake.
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First Jimothy retweeted
Barry Scott Will (@PapaGamer) profile picture
Barry Scott Will@PapaGamer7 Mar 2017
Replying to @First_Jimothy
Preacher in a sermon said "sexting" instead of "texting."
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Replying to @First_Jimothy
Saying "Give God your breast..." instead of best. Truth. Crawl under the pulpit moment.
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Replying to @First_Jimothy
grandpa pulled out a dirty sock rather than a handkerchief to wipe his brow
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First Jimothy retweeted
Teresa Diener (@cafeforseven) profile picture
Teresa Diener@cafeforseven7 Mar 2017
Replying to @First_Jimothy
my husband/pastor doing a wedding said "please put the fing on her ringer"
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Replying to @First_Jimothy
Baptizing in boxer shorts because dry pants were forgotten!
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First Jimothy retweeted
Jeff-N-Ga. (@cruzincaribbean) profile picture
Jeff-N-Ga.@cruzincaribbean7 Mar 2017
Replying to @First_Jimothy
Forgetting to turn lapel mic off before restroom break😖
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Replying to @First_Jimothy
later he had a hemicolectomy and they called him semicolon
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