porous/freak
Salty Spitoon
Joined September 2026
- Tweets859
- Following210
- Followers511
- Likes5.4K
Pinned Tweet
My buddy asked me to trip sit him while he did shrooms the other day and I spent the entire time making AI pictures of him with a random mexican family and told him the cartel has them hostage in Guadalajara
HowlingSponge retweeted
There's a saying "like putting lipstick on a pig" but I feel like I'd be way more likely to kiss a pig with lipstick, this pig is putting in some effort. What is this pig wearing? A nice sundress maybe? I might fuck this pig guys.
HowlingSponge retweeted
Throwing up the Wakanda Forever salute to a group of black teens outside the gas station so they know I’m one of the good white people right before getting a cup of Lean smashed into my cracker ass face.
*paws at you* it wasn’t rape ok?
*paws at you* it wasn’t rape ok?
*paws at you* it wasn’t rape ok?
*paws at you* it wasn’t rape ok?
*paws at you* it wasn’t rape ok?
HowlingSponge retweeted
“WHAT DAT IS JEQUAIRIUS”
“Plane injin :DDD”
“YOU GON CHANGE THE DAM WORLD JEQUAIRIUS, YOU A JENUS”
HowlingSponge retweeted
Back when people used to say “How it feels to chew 5 gum,” this is what I imagined it felt like
Getting a handjob from a broad who welds in her free time and her calloused hands keep making my body jolt in a manner like I'm taking tick damage in an MMO game
HowlingSponge retweeted
Yelling “I can’t believe gay guys are into this shit huh!” to the doctor giving me my prostate exam trying to distract from the furious torrent of cum shooting out of my body
HowlingSponge retweeted
Regional found out I was using chloroform during prostate exams. now they just call me "Dr. golden fingers" and threatened to rape my wife.
HowlingSponge retweeted
In 9th grade, we had to make an anti-bullying video. I got paired with 2 Mexicans and an autistic Black kid. The Mexicans rob him, he runs to me yelling “OFFICUHH, DEM MEXICANS STOLE MY BAG!” and I get into a shootout with them. I do a badass roll-and-shoot, kill the last guy, then die when he falls on me with his knife. The video ends with the Black kid looting my body and stealing my wallet.
HowlingSponge retweeted
Sure, the Bull has Money, status, my wife and is successful in every meaningful way. But you what he can't do? Make a meatball.
HowlingSponge retweeted
When I first met my wife, she told me she was half Spanish. I thought, “Finally, payback for the Alamo.” Then she clarified she was Spanish from Spain. I thought, “Finally, payback for transporting THEM over here.”
HowlingSponge retweeted
Asking my Black coworker what the Ebonics translation is for “pantied, sissified, and caged” and he’s just staring at me like I have three heads
HowlingSponge retweeted
I was gonna watch this but since Hunter Schafer doesn't have a penis anymore I could care less
unavailable
HowlingSponge retweeted
The cultural bridge between Mexican men and fat white girls is their love for Looney Tunes t-shirts.
HowlingSponge retweeted
Moonwalking everywhere I go after Michael Jackson sexually assaults me because it gives me a sense of control over my assailant
