ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics) header
ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics) profile picture

ess bee fritz

@RandomAntics

Elevating the inane. Mundanity in spades, and the savings are passed on to you!

 borderlands
Joined June 2010
  • Tweets16.4K
  • Following707
  • Followers5.6K
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Photo by ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics)Photo by ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics)Photo by ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics)Photo by ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics)Photo by ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics)Photo by ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics)Photo by ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics)Photo by ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics)Photo by ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics)Photo by ess bee fritz (@RandomAntics)
forgive me if I don't join in w/your highs and lows I'm holding down the fucking middle
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the reasons people give you are not necessarily the reasons they reach for in the dark
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Watches romance flick backwards to see an insipid woman who lives solely for a man blossom into an individual with her own life
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i don't have a sword or a hammer or mutant superpowers, but i've been using one pen for a really long time and it hasn't run out of ink yet
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Pete Mandik (@petemandik) profile picture
Pete Mandik@petemandik9 Feb 2017
Tuba = Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus – at West Orange, NJ
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Natty Lumpo (@nattylumpo88) profile picture
Natty Lumpo@nattylumpo886 Jan 2017
A murder of crows. A petit larceny of jackdaws. A forcible touching of magpies. An indecent exposure of ravens. A racketeering of choughs.
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keith (@tchrquotes) profile picture
keith@tchrquotes4 Jan 2017
Son: Is it true that if you die in your dreams you die in real life? Me: Yes. And also if you don't die in your dreams.
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Noodles (@Dawn_M_) profile picture
Noodles@Dawn_M_21 Jul 2015
Why is it so hard for hitchhikers to say "I love you too"?
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It's that time of year again. Here's a little thing I wrote for @mcsweeneys: mcsweeneys.net/articles/snop…
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[being murdered] Ah, human contact
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stfu, i literally had a toy called "pick-up sticks" when i was your age, and you know what we did? we fucking picked up sticks!
Image from batkaren (a/k/a kt roth) (@batkaren)
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It's too late I already normalised everything. Everything seems normal. I'm literally on fire right now and it's pretty standard.
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the line between homage and appropriation is often hard to discern
Image from rachelle mandik 🕳 (@rachelle_mandik)
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alexa (@TheWoodenslurpy) profile picture
alexa@TheWoodenslurpy4 Mar 2016
In the event of a grease fire, remember to just be yourself.
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KattsDogma (@KattsDogma) profile picture
KattsDogma@KattsDogma3 Jun 2016
Boy, are you a destination wedding? Cuz I can't come.
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Nerdine Bee (@brennadine) profile picture
Nerdine Bee@brennadine25 Sep 2015
It's my favorite time of year, the time when everyone puts their clothes back on and goes inside.
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Abby Normal (@MrsTomServo) profile picture
Abby Normal@MrsTomServo2 Nov 2016
The best thing about Basset Hounds is their tendency to drape over furniture like Dali clocks.
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Pete Mandik (@petemandik) profile picture
Pete Mandik@petemandik3 Nov 2016
Be the episode of Black Mirror you wish to see in the world.
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jordan (@jordan_stratton) profile picture
jordan@jordan_stratton12 Nov 2016
I sure am glad I saved my money and didn't go to any haunted houses last month since literally everything is terrifying right now for free.
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James (@JPwhatever) profile picture
James@JPwhatever24 Aug 2016
Ariel: u want thingamabobs? me: no
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