Sarcastic Guy With The Best Of Intentions ▫️ Storyteller Who Uses Explicit Language ▫️ Remove Trump ▫️ Texas' Time Is NOW! ▫️ Jack Daniel's. What's Your Excuse?
TEXAS
Joined December 2018
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Oh gosh! The cheapest brisket was $78. Before people found out what they are, our butchers would almost give them away.
I have an iPhone 17. Siri Intelligence is amazing. Actually everything compared to an iPhone 13 is amazing. I don't mean to make you feel bad. And if you don't need the new stuff, fine and dandy. But I would feel stuck in the past, if I couldn't upgrade every now and then.
That's cool. That works. But if you add cell service to your iPad, it's gonna cost you more and then you gotta pay 10, 15 $20 for an extra cellular line for your iPad. But it does work as a phone.
I'm no psychoanalyst, but you do know you just shared a memory about your childhood that wasn't that pleasant and yet it was a very vivid memory.
Absolutely on point.
People who kiss billionaires' asses and the corporations they run don’t get it until they’re stepped on personally: they don’t give a flying fuck about your situation. It could be hundreds of dollars for a double charge on an app you use daily that they refuse to refund over “policy”—the same thing, if you were caught doing it, would be fraud and prosecuted. Or a few thousand dollars on a credit card you fell behind on because life happens—someone died, you lost your job—but instead of helping, they bombard you with threats, lawsuits, and try to take what little you have. When it happens—and it will happen to the majority of people reading this—you’ll finally understand why people hate them, and you’ll hate them too.
If there is a Supreme Being , it has certainly favored the person who invented the device that washes hot, hot pepper juice from your actual butt hole.
Hold on! Wait a minute… Don't start screaming TMI! TMI! How old are you?
Come on people. If you know, you know. And you know I know that you know.
"But only a certain few will be selected." - Toilations 6:7
I just remembered. When I was about 12 years old, several of us kids bought a can of Eagle brand milk. We boiled that sucker in water for I don't know how long until it turned into caramel. It was absolutely delicious, from a kids point of view.
None of us thought about the can exploding and I'm wondering why it didn't.
I would actually like to try it again. But I'm not gonna.
Since I wrote this tweet, I went and asked ChatGPT how to do it. All I can say is I'll be damned.
This is what it told me to make delicious homemade caramel...
Eagle Brand’s oven method uses the milk poured out of the can:
Heat the oven to 425°F. Pour one 14-ounce can of sweetened condensed milk into a 9-inch pie plate and cover it with foil.
Set the pie plate in a larger shallow pan. Add hot water to the larger pan until it comes about ½ inch up the sides of the pie plate.
Bake for 1 hour 45 minutes to 2 hours, until thick and caramel-colored. Carefully remove the dishes, whisk the caramel smooth, and let it cool for 20 minutes.
Refrigerate any leftovers.
Eagle Brand says not to heat the milk in the can.
No shit.
I woke up this morning and Obama was all over my timeline. I swear I was so depressed I thought about going back to bed.
Good Lord, I miss that man
Amazingly, yes. You would think people would've picked by now, but there's a lot of Republicans out there who are still trying to convince themselves of the right thing to do.
I'm actually kind of amazed at how many people just whipped out $2000 to buy a new iPhone Duo and many more are on the waiting list. That's a lot of money just to get a new phone.
Oh, I'd love to have one, but I have to pay my electric bill first.
I'm one of those people bitching about affordability.
How in the hell did I forget about this?
It should never be forgotten that Ken Paxton was a leader in the coup to nullify the election of Joe Biden. He filed a lawsuit in the Supreme Court to challenge the 2020 election results in Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan and Wisconsin even though he was the AG for Texas. His suit was quickly tossed by the Court. On January 7th Paxton claimed the insurrection of the previous day was the work of antifa. This lie was quickly disproven.
On the 7th 46 state attorneys general disavowed the violence of the 6th in a letter to the Acting Attorney General of the U.S. A few days later three more AGs sent their own letter in condemning the violent insurrection. Only Ken Paxton failed to sign either letter.
