dongpast (@dongfuture) profile picture

dongpast

@dongfuture
Joined March 2014
  • Tweets1.3K
  • Following249
  • Followers1.8K
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Photo by dongpast (@dongfuture)Photo by dongpast (@dongfuture)Photo by dongpast (@dongfuture)Photo by dongpast (@dongfuture)Photo by dongpast (@dongfuture)Photo by dongpast (@dongfuture)Photo by dongpast (@dongfuture)Photo by dongpast (@dongfuture)Photo by dongpast (@dongfuture)Photo by dongpast (@dongfuture)
Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed. Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.
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I know when that jar jar binks
Image from (hyper)//diamønd (@dandotjs)
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chuuch (@ch000ch) profile picture
chuuch@ch000ch19 Oct 2013
hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it
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if someone is choking: 1) Get behind them 2) secure a firm grip around their midsection 3) suplex
Image from trev sploosk (@sploosk)
Image from trev sploosk (@sploosk)
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Did you know an aunt can lift 10 times its body weight? One time I saw my Aunt Karen pick up a Toyota Corolla.
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DOCTOR: We were all out of blood for your transfusion so we used Mountain Dew ME: [I don't hear bc I already snowboarded out the window]
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chuuch (@ch000ch) profile picture
chuuch@ch000ch27 Feb 2015
whoever invented idiots is probably crazy rich
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Alright, gang! BATTLE ROYALE has officially commenced! Good luck, y'all! moriarty2657.tumblr.com/post… @SirEviscerate @Tommytoughstuff @dongfuture
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I casually pull out my solid gold asthma inhaler with the word 'PIMP' engraved on it. I suck at it hard yet it is you who feel breathless.
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Cory (@RxitWounds) profile picture
Cory@RxitWounds2 Oct 2014
*Sits straight up in bed* "THE CHILDREN" *Kids are sitting in the produce department while two watermelons sleep peacefully in their beds*
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Imagine writing an 'F' on an 'Art Gallery' sign HAHAHA "ARF GALLERY" LMAO A MUSEUM FOR DOGS!? LOL TOO GOOD
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me: *on trial for murder* my family: *watching from the audience, holding up a D and cut-out fence*
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[Jeopardy] Host: "So tell us a little more about yourself!" Me: *Leans into microphone* "No thanks Alex."
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Lol, I submitted this into IMDB as trivia & they accepted it. imdb.com/title/tt0467406/tri…
Image from Thynebear (@Thynebear)
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slick (@dlicj) profile picture
slick@dlicj14 Jan 2015
the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the Top Gun volleyball scene
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[Speech Therapy] Therapist: Repeat after me: I’m thirsty Dad: I’m…thirsty T: I’m hungry D: I’m…H...Hi Hungry, I’m Dad T: *throws clipboard*
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NFL: Huddle CFL: Group Hug
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*Looks around nervously* The steam from my pasta is ungluing my chest hair toupee and the other mafia bosses are taking notice.
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[Little Caesar's meeting] "We need a new, clever slogan" *everyone looks at Jim* Jim: Um... Pizza...Pizza? "Jim...U just saved this company"
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