@kelter1

When I was two, I won a pony at the Medicine Hat Stampede. We lived in the city...

 All Hell for a basement
xitter.cf/search/from:kelter1
Joined December 2010
  • Tweets9.8K
  • Following3.2K
  • Followers7.5K
14Media
Should have known getting these Breaking Bad action figures was a bad idea - now my GI Joe is hooked on meth and panhandling in my yard.
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Every time I see one of my old tweets retweeted, I realize I haven’t grown much as a person.
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Fast & Furious but it’s about a guy with premature ejaculation and anger issues.
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All of this self-awareness is giving me diarrhea
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Kelly S. retweeted
FR4CKER@fr4ckerjackOct 23
He's an 8 but thinks people say "bonerfied" when they say bona fide
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Jen@SleepEatScream23h
Adults who say “whoopsies” please stop.
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She Ginger@ShegingerSep 19
Yup. I smell like Bengay. So what? Ya scared? *me, flirting *
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Antonio@dreadheadmonkSep 13
apparently I'm in my middle finger era
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I only drink alcohol during sporting events for the anti-disappointment benefits
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angrily slamming the saloon doors shut
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It’s hilarious that people want flying cars, when they haven’t even mastered driving regular ones.
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FR4CKER@fr4ckerjackOct 24
"There's been a struggle here." - detective inspecting the chair where I put my socks on
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*inspirational post about how it’s such a beautiful day & it’s gonna be amazing* *gross*
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David 🎃@DBStonerOct 23
I'm from Old Twitter. We had to do it in 140 characters or less.
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freckles@x_freckles_oOct 24
I miss when people were embarrassed to be stupid
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Jen@SleepEatScreamOct 24
Wake up full of energy ready to start the day? No, I don’t do that.
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I never throw away perfectly good food..I put it in Tupperware forget about then toss it
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Cunnilingus so good you'll barely notice I'm wearing a CPAP machine
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So because our government is on vacation yet again, we get no updates on how dead mitch still is? Fuck this, I'm getting high.
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Mark@rage69chaosOct 20
What's a Jay Z & is there an ointment for that?
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