Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti) header
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The funko to the soy man is like a sheath of a knife

Brooklyn, NY
Joined December 2011
Photo by Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti)Photo by Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti)Photo by Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti)Photo by Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti)Photo by Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti)Photo by Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti)Photo by Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti)Photo by Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti)Photo by Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti)Photo by Timekeeper of Whatever (@spaghetti)
This has been a tough year for cataloguing fun tweets because this place has become a morass of insane bullshit, which has always been the case, but it’s now lacking a certain whimsy. Nevertheless, my FAVE tweets of 2024:
It is once again that time of the year. Here are my fave tweets of 2023:
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British people will google stuff like "whys me arse mingin" or "whys me arse pure hummin of shite"
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Timekeeper of Whatever retweeted
The Rogers spokesperson you see starting this press conference is Abby Ronson. She is currently registered as a foreign agent for the state of Israel, according to @DropSiteNews reporting today
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Timekeeper of Whatever retweeted
“In cinematography, the ‘Dutch Angle’ is often used to portray a character’s psychological unease and may represent madness or their unstable mental state.”
I am endorsing Mike Rogers for the United States Senate today.
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Heidi you would love Caria Manor
Heidi Klum poses on the carpet at her annual Halloween party in NYC
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Timekeeper of Whatever retweeted
when you lose the one you wonted
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Timekeeper of Whatever retweeted
Incredible
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I lib out so hard when I see this kinda stuff. So awesome
Fox: Why are you here this morning? Trump rally attendee: Well, in the late 70s, I was a little too young to go to South America for the Jonestown Massacre. But this is as close as I'll ever get, so that's why I'm here. There's nothing like seeing a cult right up front.
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That’s Murda Beatz????
A$AP ROCKY 🚨 FKA TWIGS MURDA BEATZ DA BEST OF ME (DONT BE DUMB - DISC 2) FRIDAY. • NFR Exclusive
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“Obviously sympathetic” in this context is almost an oxymoron. If it was obvious, then you’d think one would just say “supports.” But no, the more amorphous “sympathies” are alleged—undergirded by very much not obvious, perceived allusions to sympathy.
There’s mildly antisemitic and then there’s obviously sympathetic to Islamic terrorism.
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Why are there so many different font sizes here
During his self-imposed exile in the US, former Brazilian presidential candidate Flávio Bolsonaro makes a statement in which he proclaims himself President-elect of Brazil.
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Last Hail Mary before he is put under The Hague
הליכוד: הבחירות במדינת ישראל נגנבו על ידי מפלגות ערביות שתומכות בטרור ובחיסול המדינה היהודית באמצעות עבירות פליליות חמורות של שוחד, איומים, אלימות, זיופים ושימוש בתוכנות אסורות להמרצת מצביעים. מפלגת הליכוד מעבירה למשטרה, לשב״כ ולוועדת הבחירות מאות עדויות וראיות על גניבת בחירות בקלפיות ערביות רבות- אלפי מעטפות עם כסף מזומן ופתקי רע״ם, איומים ואלימות כלפי חברי הקלפי, ריבוי מצביעים מאחורי הפרגוד, הצבעות בזהות כפולה, פערים בין מספר המעטפות למספר המצביעים, שימוש בתוכנות המרצה אסורות ועוד. אנו דורשים מהמשטרה ומהשב״כ חקירה יסודית בגין גניבת הבחירות על ידי המפלגות הערביות ומיצוי הדין עם העבריינים. אנו דורשים מוועדת הבחירות התייחסות מיידית לחקירת העבירות הפליליות הללו שפגעו באופן קיצוני בטוהר הבחירות בישראל ובתוצאות הבחירות. זו פגיעה חמורה בדמוקרטיה הישראלית ובזכות הבחירה של אזרחי ישראל. גופי האכיפה מוכרחים לפעול ביד קשה ובאופן מיידי.
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Timekeeper of Whatever retweeted
They’re making the Flock Cameras in Bushwick shoot on 35mm
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You do not know ball
Highlight of the aural assault that was Alex G’s set opening for Phoebe Bridgers was when I was so certain it had to be over, that surely he must be taking the mic right now to say thank you good night, and what he actually said was “We have five songs left.”
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Timekeeper of Whatever retweeted
OH HE ATE HIM UP SO BAD LMFAOOO😭😭😭
what's the nastiest read you've ever seen someone give😭
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Timekeeper of Whatever retweeted
thank u clairo
Norway’s youngest Prime Minister is going viral for demanding a 4-day work week mandate.
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What the hell is this subculture
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Ohhhh take your nose off my keyboard, what you bothering me for?
NEW Klein files Someone left a comment on H3 crew member Nate’s wife’s instagram 38 weeks ago (~9 months) “I sent you a message regarding your husband and his coworker Tamara’s inappropriate relationship. Inside knowledge.”
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Hila Klein to the kids:
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Timekeeper of Whatever retweeted
Naming my Mets fan son Wade Tilnextyear
Knicks fans named their baby “Knickson Fyve” 🥹🔥 (via knicksonfyve/ig)
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