Drew (@xerxes) profile picture
New York, NY
Joined January 2007
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A team of our specialists and medical students are reconfiguring hundreds of donated machines that are typically used at home for #SleepApnea and deploying them as ventilators to be used for severely ill patients who are hospitalized with #COVID19: bit.ly/2JBKkjF
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Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they SHOULD!!!
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For someone who doesn't care about Pokemon, this is the internet right now
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yo they call me taciturn owl cos i don't give a hoot / my rhymes are long-winded and awkward to boot
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Also,if you just traded for a "franchise" QB don't you get him in front of your fans ASAP? Eagles barely sent out a tweet.Bigger play coming
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[Family Feud] What's your answer?! *whispers into microphone* Please help me, I don't even know these people
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Positive: LeSean McCoy rushed for over 6,000 yds past 5 yrs. Negative: Since 1970, RBs who total 6k in 5 yrs rush for ~3k over next 5 yrs.
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Welcome to the Dad Store. "I'm lookin for socks & sandals." Hi lookin for socks & sandals, I'm dad "Oh I like this store."
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"That was embarrassing, humiliating, belittling, demeaning-" SERIOUSLY THESAURUS I'LL EAT U
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*T-Rex stubs his toe* OUCH I'M SO MAD. JUST... MAD. I'M... "Angry? Agitated? Irritated? Anno-" SHUT UP THESAURUS NO ONE ASKED YOU.
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Christie & Romney will meet to overcome lingering awkwardness. Lingering Awkwardness was also Romney’s Secret Service codename. #fallonmono
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Updating the board! Eagles offseason already off to good start Coughlin stays✔️ Garrett extension ✔️ Get a QB Get a CB
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[White House] Any ideas on how to defeat ISIS? *Biden excitedly raises hand* Besides assembling the Avengers. *Biden dejectedly lowers hand*
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[at grocery store] "a whole bag of 1ups cost $3.00!" wife: those are just regular mushrooms "I'm going to live forever like highlander"
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Wife: The zoo called Me: [wearing hat made out of live lemurs] they say what they want?
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Bee keeping is the opposite of what you should do with bees
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ʇuǝɯʇuıoddɐsıp ɐ ןןıʇs ǝɹ,noʎ 'uʍop ǝpısdn sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ oʇ ǝןqɐ ǝɹǝʍ noʎ ɥbnoɥʇ uǝʌǝ ʇɐɥʇ ʍouʞ noʎ buıʇʇǝן ʇsnظ ˙pɐp ɹnoʎ s,ʇı 'ıɥ
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hold your horses. they are sad & just need gentle physical touch.
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