Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt) header
Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt) profile picture

Dead Pan Nick

@Contwixt

24/7/365 Observer. Picture-taker. Frequent participant. Occasional make-happener. Bowling. Clouds.

 Gunbarrel, CO
teapawt.net/search?q=from%3Acontwixt%20exclude%3Areplies&t=JkINyUhJBIycIRU05IpA1Q&s=09
Joined October 2013
  • Tweets18K
  • Following12.4K
  • Followers21.4K
1.6KMedia
Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt) profile picture
Dead Pan Nick
@Contwixt12 Oct 2023
four seasons. total. landscaping.
1
4
9
525
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Annie Hatfield (@AnneHatfieldVO) profile picture
Annie Hatfield
@AnneHatfieldVO11h
Martha Stewart once said “potato" with such chilling precision, I became forever wretched.
2
30
53
993
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Michael Luo (@AzianMike) profile picture
Michael Luo
@AzianMikeNov 6
We must build more donut centers
Polymarket (@Polymarket) profile picturePolymarket
@PolymarketNov 6
BREAKING: Krispy Kreme officially outperforms NVIDIA over the past year.
179
6,063
96
84,333
1,202,129
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
jabberwocky12 (@trobo11) profile picture
jabberwocky12@trobo11Nov 6
What are they gonna do, poll each other?
Image from jabberwocky12 (@trobo11)
118
1,648
118
20,622
724,690
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Annie Hatfield (@AnneHatfieldVO) profile picture
Annie Hatfield
@AnneHatfieldVONov 5
When you can't quite identify the flavor, it's hydrogen peroxide.
3
54
114
2,930
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Skurt Vonnegut (@ThisLocalHater) profile picture
Skurt Vonnegut@ThisLocalHaterNov 4
My therapist brought up boundaries just as I was playing with his hair
7
52
1
160
8,426
We have to say “Mississippi” after each number
La Soule (@okmeaux) profile pictureLa Soule@okmeauxNov 4
Wtf takes Mississippi so gahdamn long to count votes??
1,797
42,590
1,696
581,214
8,843,526
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) profile picture
Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEricNov 1
What, and I cannot stress this enough, time is it.
35
230
8
2,273
36,353
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Trey (@treydayway) profile picture
Trey@treydaywayOct 24
4 years old and she's already slamming doors... I'm not religious but pray for me
15
12
180
2,801
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Horned Sphere (@Horned_Sphere) profile picture
Horned Sphere@Horned_SphereOct 18
That new Nathan Fielder movie had the hipster theater hootin and hollerin like a black church last night
47
980
90
28,960
736,050
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt) profile picture
Dead Pan Nick
@Contwixt20 May 2017
It's one thing to get a golf tee stuck in a nostril. Shit happens. But if you've got a golf tee in each nostril, that's a pattern. Wake up.
17
421
89
616
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Mina Kimes (@minakimes) profile picture
Mina Kimes
@minakimesOct 5
Me when my parents rented DEEP IMPACT from Blockbuster
Image from Mina Kimes (@minakimes)
366
1,725
109
24,602
479,268
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Velodus 🦃🍁 (@velodus) profile picture
Velodus 🦃🍁@velodusOct 4
*flirting* You're the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on in the Statcast era
24
1,163
23
16,080
320,754
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Jagger May (@JagSays) profile picture
Jagger May
@JagSaysOct 4
“Babe do we have to watch Daniel Jones vs Athan Kaliakmanis first thing or can we go to brunch?” Me:
11
45
4
1,704
158,092
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
perfect angel (@girl__virus) profile picture
perfect angel@girl__virusOct 3
i've been nothing but a complete nightmare to you and this is how you treat me
16
2,665
427
14,966
602,193
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) profile picture
Zack Bornstein@ZackBornsteinOct 3
i coulda told you that if your slow ass could catch up to me
Image from Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein)
21
690
64
9,057
153,245
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
your other mom (@difficultpatty) profile picture
your other mom
@difficultpattyOct 2
Humans beings weren't meant to endure this much two factor authentication.
152
3,976
91
38,797
833,174
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
World of Statistics (@stats_feed) profile picture
World of Statistics
@stats_feedOct 1
The most complex word in the English language is "run", with 645 possible different meanings.
158
896
90
21,332
717,069
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
Skurt Vonnegut (@ThisLocalHater) profile picture
Skurt Vonnegut@ThisLocalHaterSep 30
The feminine urge to fall in love with a handsome drifter and become a cold case
3
47
4
143
3,863
Dead Pan Nick retweeted
CreekPete 🇨🇦 (@CreekInCAN) profile picture
CreekPete 🇨🇦@CreekInCANSep 29
Artificial Turf will now be known as Super Grass.
192
743
43
6,757
114,268
Load more