
I explain jokes so you don't have to | @panmidwest | Search: https://teapawt.net/t.co/hFNs8dyA5n
Joined January 2011
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A Joke Explainer retweeted
god: did you give the dinosaurs more muscle like I asked
angel: wait what
god: I told you to make them meatier
angel: oh MEATier
A Joke Explainer retweeted
There are good cheese puns and bad cheese puns. Between them, there’s a gruyerea.
A Joke Explainer retweeted
I remember the day I saw a photographer get crushed by a huge block of cheese.
We all tried to warn him.
A Joke Explainer retweeted
Me: My car keeps making this weird, annoying, clunky pop type sound
Mechanic: Hmm, have you tried turning off imagine dragons?
A Joke Explainer retweeted
executioner: any last words?
me: I beg your pardon
executioner: any last words?
me: I beg your pardon
executioner: any last words?
me: I beg your pardon
executioner: any last words?
me: I beg your pardon
executioner: any last words?
me: I beg your pardon
A Joke Explainer retweeted
[texting]
BOYFRIEND: Send me a selfie 😍😍😍
T-REX: [after deleting 47th neck pic] Maybe later
A Joke Explainer retweeted
[first day as zoo tour guide]
me: elephants have very thick skin. observe [to elephant] hey, idiot!
elephant: [eats some leaves]
me: see? doesn't even care
A Joke Explainer retweeted
[blind date]
HER: I'm a big country fan
ME {trying to impress her}: China is very large
A Joke Explainer retweeted
Clark Kent: *sets glasses on kitchen table*
Lois Lane: Is that our table? I don't recognize it.
A Joke Explainer retweeted
ME: These frog testicles are delicious!
GIRLFRIEND: Those are peas. – at Arvada, CO
A Joke Explainer retweeted
SKETCH ARTIST: *holds up drawing of a single bit of straw*
CAMEL: [in a wheelchair, tears in his eyes] That's him!
A Joke Explainer retweeted
If there was a nun named Chuck, we could call her...
...Sister Charles. Be respectful, please.




















