@BadMikeyBad

Aspiring Evel Knievel Impersonator

 Suburban Hell
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Joined July 2012
  • Tweets172K
  • Following8.6K
  • Followers17K
556Media
Before you start pushing and shoving “older” folks in a crowd, remember Gen X perfected the mosh pit, and you’re gonna be in for more than you bargained for
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it will be alright eventually soon one day but probably not today
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It’s Monday. Rise and fucking shine you crusty semen goblins. Drink some coffee, or whatever to start the day with, take a shower, use soap, brush those fucking snags and get out there and make today your bitch. Love you, Kk
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You don’t scare me. I was on a three hour flight with a toddler behind me playing The Wiggles the entire time without headphones
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Welcome to Twitter, a dude who looks like a dirty Weeble Wooble will show up on your TL shortly to anonymously insult the appearance of somebody way out of his league
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Bad Mikey retweeted
Party Waffle@PartyWaffle12h
All my hopes and dreams can’t come true, because they don’t make Heelys in a size 15
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cow
@cowincrisis22h
abolish fences
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Bad Mikey retweeted
Krista
@Kristasunshine18h
I will never understand how some people on here are so viscious to each other. To people they've never met. I always wonder what they get from it.
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Bad Mikey retweeted
Marcmywords@Marcmywords29h
I change costumes between Tweets.
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Burning Mom ⚡️
@MomOnFire9h
Tonight my yoga teacher told the class we deserve to be seen and loved. WHAT?!
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Bad Mikey retweeted
Nutella@NutttyV4h
The day we started talking, I’m pretty sure God looked down and said "About time."
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Bought my Ozempic from Temu and now my bones are magnetic.
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Gen Z lacks character because they've never had to trust a guy named "Dogbite" while partying on someone else's property when he says, "nah man, the farmer's out of town, he won't shoot." That's when real leaders were born.
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Bad Mikey retweeted
CrazyFeralCatLady@kcobra1116h
*Mutes the word grok*
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Bad Mikey retweeted
BEAVE
@Beaveinflow9h
Going to start hosting parties where all we do is cry and eat snacks.
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Bad Mikey retweeted
Cutie McFly@cutiemcfly0077h
You can use to much butter in graham cracker crust..who knew!
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there are no stupid questions doesn't apply to twitter
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Me: Pokes fun at Grandma for putting water in nearly empty bottles of shampoo and soap to get every drop out of them because she grew up in the depression Also me: Will use the same dryer sheet over and over until it literally disintegrates into nothing
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Bad Mikey retweeted
smerobin@smerobinOct 25
Look, I just want to show up in a pink hat.
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Bad Mikey retweeted
CoCo@unhingebinge8 Oct 2025
What's on top of my refrigerator is none of your business.
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Kat@ollkorrect011h
My favorite thing in the whole world is when I reject a man and his reaction immediately confirms my decision
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